rm | Dear Torchwood Fandom,

Dear Torchwood Fandom,

I am as much about Jack/Ianto as many of the rest of you, BUT, perhaps you have not noticed, these are two really fucked up people in fucked up circumstances with a distinctive disinclination towards monogamy.

So, can we please stop writing fics that involve Jack cooing over how adorable Ianto is? or making him breakfast in bed? Or saying "I love you" every two seconds?

BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT THOSE GUYS. Even in happy ending fics (which I like), even when they are taking comfort from each other (which is probably how it evolved out of Ianto trying to get Lisa into the Hub) and even when they're in love with each other (which I can totally buy).

Ianto is both weirdly innocent and incredibly fucking devious and generally pretty at sea and FILLED WITH TRAUMA and also tough as nails. And Jack is actually out of his goddamn mind. And immortal (more or less). And a huge slut. And a very manly man. Mostly. And also, FILLED WITH TRAUMA, and I don't mean screaming girl trauma for either of them, okay?

So, please, pelase, please, people, let these characters be into each other on their own terms, not your unimaginative heteronormative romance novel crap.

Also, didn't we learn anything about sickeningly cute and character inappropriate nicknames from the Harry Potter fandom?

Thank you.

Gah. I hate new fandoms.