(no subject)

[rm]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/07/us/07aging.html

Fascinating article on the harm of addressing seniors with elder-speak.

But what really struck me? The toll of words like "sweetie" and "dear" that the article notes are also used for children in a way that can also be disrespectful and isolating. What the article doesn't note: is that these words are used in the same way on women of all ages, and yes, it makes us angry and uncooperative too.

Comments

[demotu.livejournal.com]

I find such "endearments" are also really a city/country cultural thing. In the city, they're almost never used, and when they are - particularly by older men - they seem deliberately condescending. In my boyfriend's town of 9000, however, where I spend a lot of my weekends, all the women (at the store, coworkers, etc) uses "sweetheart" and "honey" and "dear" and "love", whether or not they're addressing a man or a woman, and most men use it with women in the same sort of way ("here's your change dear", or "thanks for the help, you're a love"), so it doesn't seem nearly as out of place for me.

[rm.livejournal.com]

No one would EVER use it towards a man here. In the south, sure. But not up here.

[demotu.livejournal.com]

In New York? Yeah, no one would use it to a man in my comparatively tiny city, either. And in (small town), a man wouldn't use it with another man - but pretty much every woman I see my boyfriend interact with calls him by some such endearment (and he them, especially when he's interacting with them in a professional, law-enforcement capacity, which is pretty interesting.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Also, just in New England/Mid Atlantic in general. In the South sure. But here it's a pretty strictly gendered thing regardless of the population size, I think.

[fuyukodachi.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I get honey'd a lot.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Really? Maybe it's Manhattan. Also you, sir, have puppy dog eyes.