(no subject)

[rm]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/07/us/07aging.html

Fascinating article on the harm of addressing seniors with elder-speak.

But what really struck me? The toll of words like "sweetie" and "dear" that the article notes are also used for children in a way that can also be disrespectful and isolating. What the article doesn't note: is that these words are used in the same way on women of all ages, and yes, it makes us angry and uncooperative too.

Comments

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

1. Yes, this exactly.

2. Most of the people quoted in that article are younger than both of my parents. What the hell? I can't imagine anyone missing the air of confidence, competence, and general "get-the-hell-out-of-my-way"-ism of both of them.

Also? Every time someone says, "John McCain will likely die within the next four years," I actually hear, "Your dad is five years older than McCain AND WILL DIE SOON."

::snarl::

[newsbean.livejournal.com]

I think a huge part of the McCain thing is his age combined with the fact that his health history puts him at risk for dying really soon. I'm not sure it's just the age. (At least, that's the way I've been understanding, but perhaps I am too generous...)

[lysserum.livejournal.com]

I've seen people refer to previous cancer incidents and something about his medical records being kept private. I don't recall the exact details, but I read something a while back about the media being given limited access to them and then being cut off.

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think the health history is a huge factor--malignant melanomas are nasty, plus he has all the POW damage. (Frankly, I also think he shows possible signs of dementia, but that's another issue....)

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

As a thirtysomething in a wheelchair, I have to point out that one's likelihood of getting talked down to shoots up with every noticeable or known sign of disability.

My dad - five years younger than McCain and in similarly good health - is between dental surgeries at the moment, and has had trouble speaking lately due to a lack of teeth. Add that to a cane for a temporarily strained knee, and people suddenly stopped seeing him as "handsome healthy elder" and started speaking to him slowly and stupidly as if he'd had a severe stroke. This despite Dad's ferocious glare, otherwise healthy-looking body, and the upright carriage of a vet who will happily beat you up with his cane if you piss him off.

I got a lot more baby-talk when I used a walker than when I used a cane, and a little more in the powerchair. If I have to take the manual chair (and be pushed, mostly), people ignore me and speak to whoever's doing the pushing an awful lot.

Many of the people in this article are in elder care facilities or are disabled, and the article was also focusing on how medical and care personnel have a very bad tendency to sweet-talk the poor dears in their care. That's a real and serious problem. The WalMart clerk calling me "sweetie" instead of "miss" is a nuisance; my twenty-year-old physical therapist "sweetie"ing me when she should have listened to me tell her that she had her damn anatomy wrong is another thing entirely.

It's also a serious issue because patients who complain or get cranky about this kind of condescending treatment will get labeled as "uncooperative patients" and ignored more, as well as possibly losing privileges. Whacking that therapist with my cane, tempting as it was, would have probably meant no more physical therapy for me.