(no subject)

[rm]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/07/us/07aging.html

Fascinating article on the harm of addressing seniors with elder-speak.

But what really struck me? The toll of words like "sweetie" and "dear" that the article notes are also used for children in a way that can also be disrespectful and isolating. What the article doesn't note: is that these words are used in the same way on women of all ages, and yes, it makes us angry and uncooperative too.

Comments

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

Any visibly disabled person has run into this at least once. Friendliness is one thing, disrespect and talking down to people is another.

And as others have mentioned, tone and delivery can easily change a "dear" epithet from a politeness to a degrading put-down. The difference between "More coffee, hun?" and "See here, sweetheart, the big boys don't want you in their conference rooms", or "Such a brave dear girl, smiling despite the wheelchair", is obvious with tone and inflection. But it's the latter that more people are likely to let slip out without realizing they're being offensively infantilizing.

I feel bad when I find myself calling people sweetie-dahling all too often, but it's because of my disintegrating memory making me forget people's names. I try very hard never to sound condescending when I find myself in that pickle.