Writer's Block: The Greenest Grass

[rm]

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Where do I start with the problems with this question?

Gender essentialism flame-war Friday? or the rather obvious questions of privilege?

And that aside, is this rocket science?

Men are less likely to be raped; and more likely to earn higher wages for comparable work.

Women are more likely to get free drinks in bars and are expected to dedicate a higher percentage of their on-average lower incomes to maintaining their appearance.

And when people point this out, some asshole always shows up to say "but it's so hard to be a man; we're made to feel bad for desiring women all the time."

Oi. LJ!

Comments

[winter-ruins.livejournal.com]

... Okay, I can't resist. Some (very female, actually) asshole here to show up.

Men get raped quite often too, they just don't report it because that's womanly.

Men are more likely to get beat up or killed for acting outside of their gender roles.

[dulcinbradbury.livejournal.com]

She said that women are more likely to be raped. Even adjusting for reporting, this is still true.


Gender roles gets tricky. There's a lower tolerance for any deviation among men, so, I suspect women get more flexibility in minor deviation.

But major deviation? Women in the military or other male-dominated environments, FTM trannies, etc. I'm not sure the gap is as wide.

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

*stares, aghast at the Writers' Block*

So, who wants to sendrona_emo and the LJ staff a gift-wrapped Clue-By-Four?

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

I know, right? *eyeroll*

On the other hand, LJ will be rubbing their hands gleefully because ooh, made 'em write.

[frakkin-addict.livejournal.com]

Great answer. Thanks. :)

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I will leave my icon to speak for me.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Women are made guilty for being women, too.

And that's just addressing people who adhere to arbitrary gender roles.

Your point. (S)he is invalid.

[bernmarx.livejournal.com]

The question was "Who has it easier?". An answer does not imply that either gender has a free ride, only that when all the chits and points are added up, one gender has it easier than the other (setting aside the annoying presupposition that there are but two discrete genders).

When all the chits and points are added up, males have it much, much easier.

As a male, I'm all for having a civil discussion about whatever obstacles it is that males experience, but as a rational being, I'm all for not being deluded.

Gavin & Stacey

[keith418.livejournal.com]

I am interested to discover what you make of this series, because I think it indirectly addresses some of the questions raised here. On some of the UK TV shows I have seen, women are presented as being more flawed than they are in many of the same kinds of programs in the US. But the effect is to make them more human and, in the end, more sympathetic and real.

When William S. Burroughs described the US as a "matriarchal society" was he just being insane? Or did he have a point?

Re: Gavin & Stacey

[erin-trying.livejournal.com]

Quote from a man that shot his wife appropriate? Perhaps not!

[contentlove.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just snorted when I saw the question and figured it was picked by someone rather young and unexperienced.

[jkpolk.livejournal.com]

I think it's just hard to be a human, no matter what's planted between your legs or in your genes.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

That is also true, but even with the deck stacked against humanity in general, some have it easier than others.

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

Which is harder: being a man , or being a great, big, whiny, sucky*-baby!


*For maximum effect, this has to be pronounced in the proper Atlantic Canadian manner: SOO-kee BAY bee!

[marcmagus]

Being an adult; that's why so many of us are great big, whiny, sucky-babies.

[angstzeit.livejournal.com]

Who has it easier? Someone else. Always someone else.

[acathartes.livejournal.com]

I think you have the right answer here.

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

i'm ignoring all logic and reason and still saying men, just b/c i feel like it
:D

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

This is all very odd.
The question I'm reading in the box is It's our birthday, a day when you get to indulge in all your favorite things. So indulge us—what's your favorite LJ entry? and this is obviously the question the rest of the world is seeing.

What is this person asking?

writer's block question as seen on Firefox

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

Who has it easier—men or women? Why or why not?

Submitted By [info]rona_emo

N.

[meirion.livejournal.com]

Am I the only one who's not seeing the question that appears to be being answered here as the current writer's block?

What I see is a fairly innocuous "what's your favourite LJ entry?" not an attempt to start a battle of the sexes.

Is this a Firefox vs. IE issue?

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

I dunno--I'm using Firefox and I'm seeing the question rm responded to.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i am reading your comments and am feeling a bit "oi. lj!" myself.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

It's hard to be a sentient being because Samsara is an ocean of suffering.

[marcmagus]

Explicitly narrowing the scope of discussion only to social difficulty as a result of gender and societal gender norms for a moment: It is hard to be a man: We're told normal men are constantly in a state of sexual desire for all women they interact with and that we're weird if any appreciable amount of time passes without actively thinking about, desiring, and pursuing sex. We're told that any time we have sexual thoughts about a woman or notice that a woman is attractive we're objectifying her and thereby contributing to the inequalities between the sexes. We're bombarded with messages like "All men are potential rapists." which, while technically true, and potentially useful, also carry the message that there's something inherently evil about being born a man that we have to make up for, not to mention rhetoric which suggests we should be punished for the bad things men have done historically because we happen to share a chromosomal arrangement.

Sometimes it really does feel like, purely in the realm of social capital in middle-class, educated, white, America, men have it harder.

In life, overall? Not so much. Not even within that narrow community.

[The biggest problem, as I understand it, with the "but it's so hard to be a man" argument is that it shifts scope in a way that makes it sound like the negative social capital on the one hand is in any way comparable to safety, economic status, political capital, and more on the other hand. Also that it's frequently raised when only tangentially related to the topic at best. Please correct me if I'm wrong, either in this understanding, or in feeling that the discussion is more relevant here.]

[lefaym.livejournal.com]

GAH!!!

I'm sure that most people who answer "men" will receive accolades for seeing the "truth" too.

What really shits me about this stuff, is so many people (though not all) who are concerned about the society problems that men face as the result of patriarchy blame feminism for it, when really, feminism helps SOLVE those problems, even when it's not the main focus. Want equal custody to be the norm? Well, if equal parenting was the norm, like feminists generally want it to be, then THAT WOULD HAPPEN. You feel like all men are treated as potential rapists? Then STOP BLAMING WOMEN WHEN THEY ARE RAPED -- this just creates a culture where women HAVE to view all men suspiciously, because we know that if we do get raped, then we will be held accountable for being in his company. Want boys to have as many clothing options as girls (not that I see girls exercising their ability to dress boyishly very often) -- then stop making out like anything "feminine" is bad and a step down in the world. Fucking hell.

(Obviously, this rant is directed at society at large, not you. :P)

[sanginmychains.livejournal.com]

"Gender essentialism flame-war Friday?" This made me snort juice, I love it. I think this would be an *excellent* blog meme. Everyone would have something to say, at least, nevermind that most of it would be founded on shaky data or borderline offensive. But what else is the Internet for?

[phoenix64.livejournal.com]

Er, the question is nullified by assuming those are the only available options?

[gwyd.livejournal.com]

That was my thought.

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

Once again I am delighted to have learned the answer of 'MU'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mu_(negative)