sundries

[rm]

Police say dozens of people watched as girl was gang raped. That should make you angry enough. But then the article goes on to give us this charming sentence, "The victim had drank a large amount of alcohol by the time the assault began, police said" which is relevant how, exactly? Grrrrr. (ETA: see comments for the very good point that if she was drunk it's harder to argue she consented to the rape; also be aware that comments have a discussion of victim-blaming).

keori (why aren't you reading keori? I link you people over there often enough) talks about the latest series of outrages and asinine remarks in the struggle to get rid of DADT. You see, apparently, LGBT people might be capable of doing some military jobs, but not others.

To everyone who helped out deza with money, advice, good thoughts and signal boosting: thank you! Overnight the needed funds were raised.

roadnotes just pointed to this amazing article about Terri White who was one of the amazing singers at the now closed Rose's Turn. I don't even know what to say, just read the article.

For runaways sex buys survival.

German-ism of the day: "it's raining cats and ducks." Why yes, it is.

Tempest Prognosticator -- it's a machine... made out of leeches!

I emailed someone asking if I could use a photo of theirs for a mock-up cover for ConSweet just to put on my NaNo page and all. Don't know that I'll hear back, but it's a fun thought.

Since we're not _in_ NaNo yet, I'm trying not to feel too guilty about my editing instinct that has kicked in. I know all the things I have to do to fix the first chapter (which is at the moment a series of cracky emails between various characters, but it's a lot to take in all at once), so I'm going to try to do that before NaNo starts and then just write through and fix later.

I am glad I am doing this story for NaNo. It needs out of my system. It surprises me sometimes all the ways in which I am capable of being suffused with melancholy. I'd been trying to keep that melancholy out of ConSweet, but I think I have to run with it, because I think it's how I make Evan be something other than an asshole, which is pretty critical.

If you want to add me as a buddy on the NaNo site, I'm there under Racheline, since that is, rather absurdly, my name.

Castle offered some meta fannish goodness last night. Also, Nathan Fillion dressed as Mal = always hot. And, referencing a story most of you don't know, Nathan Fillion = always the best footnote EVER.

Also, I have seen photos from Hub3, and I am still laughing.

Finally, why is LJ such a slow piece of shit today?

Comments

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

That gang-rape story made me *sick* when I saw it myself earlier this morning. But I don't have a problem with mentioning that the girl had been trashed.

You're seeing it as the journalist implying the victim was in some way at fault; I'm seeing it as a relevant circumstance. When a man is reported to have been mugged in a dark alley, nobody's implying that the man even slightly deserved to be mugged because he entered the dark alley.

On the other hand, it's a data point to avoid dark alleys. Or excessive drinking.

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

...excessive incautious drinking, anyway. Excessive drinking with trusted, reliable friends around or in a 100%-safe place, is fun and should not be avoided. ;)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Most rapes are committed my people women know, often well and often considered trusted.

[vegablack62.livejournal.com]

I bet the poor girl knew at least some of the assailants in this case. I suspect she knew who ever was the ringleader. Fifteen year olds are trusting and make foolish decisions in a fun social setting. (Who didn't at this age?) They might have used the promise of alcohol to lure her out there with this express purpose. I mention this not to blame the girl at all, but to say that being raped in a dark alley would not preclude knowing the attackers. It would add to the cruelty of the whole thing.

[rm.livejournal.com]

The idea that being a "good girl" will always prevent rape is a fallacy. And an offensive one.

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

Who said anything about virtue here, or about always? I'm talking about careful behavior reducing the risk.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Women are constantly told to limit their actions (don't go out at night, don't dress like that, don't drink, etc etc etc) in order to avoid being assaulted, as if they are somehow responsible for their own assaults. Men's lives are not similarly circumscribed. Efforts to reduce rape in our culture include almost no education of men about how to address rape issues with each other or with women. They focus exclusively on encouraging women to further constrain their lives in hopes that will be good enough. It's unacceptable.

Obviously, getting randomly trashed no matter who you are in any circumstance, isn't awesome decision making. But this girl was gang-raped. Sober, a gang of men would still have been able to overpower her and rape her. She was sober when she went to hang out with the men. She wasn't raped because she was drunk. She was raped because she had the bad fortune to be associating with men who are rapists. Conservative estimates indicate that 1 in 6 women are a victim of a sexual assault in their lifetimes. Even if each man who rapes or commits sexual assault commits ten of these, that's still 1 in 60 men who are rapists. Statistically the odds are terrible, and living in fear doesn't make them better.

http://postbourgie.com/2009/09/18/sexual-assault-prevention-tips-guaranteed-to-work/

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

[newsbean.livejournal.com]

Posted yesterday at my journal:

http://newsbean.livejournal.com/306567.html

[malle-babbe.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the infuriating Catch-22 to such advice: While in *theory*, everyone is for woman taking these precautions, in a real-life situation where a woman goes with her gut, or refuses to humor a guy being creepy, she has to explain herself, giving everyone reassurances that she "doesn't hate men" by expressing the desire to not get her throat cut.

[phaetonschariot.livejournal.com]

Before I even click on that link, I'm willing to bet that it's either ridiculous (stay locked in your house, allow no one access, ever) or very very short.

Considering that most "advice" we're instilled with is to prevent stranger rape, the rarest kind, and that if it does happen then any "advice" you didn't diligently follow is immediately seized upon... And the silly thing is, if you act cautiously, men often get offended. Guess what, guys. WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE A RAPIST. You might just be trying to be persistently friendly, or even not that persistent, but to us it's a warning sign.

[phaetonschariot.livejournal.com]

Clearly I'm still in the cynical society-impressed mindset that it's a woman's responsibility...

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

I don't think you'll find that reasonable guys are offended by most precautions. Anyone who is, you probably don't want to date/go home with anyway.

IMO, there is such thing as going too far. I'll get offended (although I'll freely admit that I had a nightmare relationship that this should have been a blazing warning sign of) if a girl I've been talking to for ten minutes refuses to even give me a first name.

But it's offensive for a guy to *ask* exactly where someone he's just met lives (neighborhood, sure; street number, hell no), and frankly: if a girl doesn't want to finish a drink she's turned her back on, I'll read that not as an insult but as a sign that she's got some intelligence.

Think of it as a filter. If they're a dick about reasonable precautions, they're probably a dick in general.

[low-notes.livejournal.com]

(I don't know you, but I was sent the link to this discussion. So, as to not be a creeper, hi!)

Have you heard of Jackson Katz? He spoke at my college recently, and his whole thing is that rape is not a "women's issue" and that when men say "well, I don't hurt women, I'm a good guy," that just NOT raping women isn't enough to be a "good guy." You (and others) may be interested in some of his stuff - he's all about how violence against women is a problem with how men are socialized in our culture, not a problem with women. He has a few great films out, most famously "Tough Guise."

[rm.livejournal.com]

Hi! I don't think I've heard of him, but I have been, thankfully, hearing that sort of argument more and more lately. I shall google. Thanks for popping in with new contenty stuff. Super good.

[frodo-esque.livejournal.com]

Why should a woman keep from enjoying herself (i.e. drinking) out of fear of being raped? Shouldn't we live in a country where a girl shouldn't have to refrain from drinking at a social event in order to protect herself?

Sure there are creepo's out there, but staying clear of drinking should not be something a woman should need to do in order to stay safe.

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

I agree absolutely, 100%, completely, that we *should* live in a country without rape and predators. That would be awesome.

Unfortunately, we don't, and probably never will. There's always going to be a few vicious scumbags out there.

[dsmoen.livejournal.com]

There have been some rulings that a drunk person cannot consent to sex, though I haven't followed that kind of thing enough to really know what the trends in legal precedent are.

[kargashina.livejournal.com]

this..