sundries

[rm]

Folks, sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes I don't have all the data, sometimes the answers aren't clear cut. I often assemble these sundries as I'm going through my day, which particularly means the "sometimes I don't have all the data" thing comes into play a lot. There are also lots of cases where I feel information should be out there, even if it's not information I feel qualified to make a thorough judgment on.

Anyway, last night (when I had no Internet! it's broken at home again) rosefox alerted me to this thread regarding an ICFA-related scholarship opportunity for PoC. Talk about: 1. me not having all the data at first (yikes!), 2. the situation not being clear cut (more opportunity for more people; GOH is Nalo Hopkinson vs. ugly RaceFail history) and 3. Me being entirely not qualified to say how anyone should proceed as a I am not an ICFA member/participant, a person offering a scholarship, or a PoC.

So! There's a scholarship opportunity. And there's some important concerns about it. And now you have links to both. As always, I appreciate when you guys have got more than I've got on things and can help me fail better.

Meanwhile! Patty and I are seeing Quartett at BAM tonight. It's based on Dangerous Liasons.

Link from keori: Alan Grayson truly gets how and why politics should be theater.

Bath & Bodyworks employee fired for being Wiccan. Thanks to hughcasey for the thorough write-up.

Large Hadron Collider now felled by birds and baguettes! No, really. Via firefly_124.

"Kiss me where I can't" -- Gilded Age Monuments and Secrets.

WHUT?

Apparently only men tell important stories. Wait, haven't I heard this before? From unpublished exes of mine that wanted my career to be as non-existent as their own?

via lipsum: What the whole God, guns and gays thing is really about -- one particular construction of masculinity as an excuse for irrational, fear-based behavior.

Instead of The Innocence Project's results being taken seriously, the involved students grades have now been subpoenaed to find out the "real motivation" for their justice-related work. Northwestern is refusing to comply.

LGBTQ issues that should be on everyone's radar right now? ENDA. Sadly, I imagine it will be a tougher sell in a bad economy -- the evil gays may take your job. Also, a moment of rage: President Obama, where are you? If you are such a strong advocate for my rights why not even one mention on the Maine situation? Why no emails to Dems in Maine before the vote?

I'm totally worried about how this whole Ft. Hood shooting thing is going to play out. We should probably be discussing the mental health of our soldiers, but instead, I (and many others) worried that it will just be one more excuse for anti-Islam rhetoric. On another note, the civilian police officer who stopped the shooter happens to be a woman.

I'm glad Precious is getting good reviews.

I am up to 7,247 words on ConSweet. The quality of some of my writing is going downhill, because I haven't figure out how to do everything I need to do, but the quality of my first draft writing is actually usually much higher than first draft quality, so me actually writing a first draft and Getting Shit Done is probably fine. Oddest thing current in book: a shopping cart full of pineapples.

via feyandstrange: Doctor Who cufflinks. The rubber Dalek ones are supercute I think. Ianto cosplayers, note Cybermen cufflinks; yes, I fucking dare you!

Comments

[phaetonschariot.livejournal.com]

The most accurate stats on false rape claims point at about 2%, the same as any other crime - some go up to about 8%. Stats on women being raped is between one in three and one in six. Most rapes are never reported, most of the ones that are reported never go to trial, and most of the ones that go to trial (http://keieeeye.insanejournal.com/200119.html) involve the defense lawyer interrogating the victim on what she was wearing, how much she had to drink, her previous sexual history, who she was with, how she was acting, whether or not she willingly went somewhere alone with her rapist, whether she consented to lesser sexual activity such as kissing. The reason some rape cases never go to trial is because the victim mentally and emotionally cannot handle it.

Also, some men who are accused of rape aren't actually judged that harshly by their peers. Because of the myth that false rape claims are a dime a dozen, often if they say "dude she totally consented and then changed her mind" or just "she was lying to get revenge", he'll be believed. Not only by men, but by other women. On the other side of that coin, a woman who's been raped often is not believed - by her family, by her friends, by society at large, by the police officers she reports it to. There was a case I think a few months ago where a woman was raped during a burglary at her place of work, on camera, and she was arrested for making a false claim.

Added to that, a man who's been falsely accused of rape probably isn't going to be traumatised enough that the fear centre of his brain spends the rest of his life trying to convince him that every woman is a threat. On the other hand, even a woman who hasn't been raped has to be constantly aware of the possibility (http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/), and one who has (note that all women react differently and some will bounce back with little psychological damage, but many others will not) will be even moreso.

rm already mentioned the other side of the "1 in x women get raped" statistic, where that means that 1 in x men are rapists - even if you assume that each rapist assaults ten different women, that means that between one in thirty and one in sixty men are rapists. I know I've met well more than sixty men.

Yes, there are problems in being a straight white male. No, they are not comparable. And most of them, in fact, boil down to the system of privilege that places men at the top in the first place.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I never said, nor did I intend to say that one was worse than the other, just that the other side exists.

As far as peer judgment - I recall the recent case where a few college kids were accused of rape and were very harshly judged before finding out that they were innocent. Granted I don't like using that example because I think there was alot of wrong on both sides, but there was apparently no rape.

I'd like to read more about the study that shows the trauma center of a woman's brain being effected by rape in the way you said. It's not that I don't believe you - I'm genuinely interested and would like to see if there is a comparable study in men who experience similar trauma.

It's no comparison but I do know guys who insist on carrying their own birth control because they are afraid to trust a woman who claims she is otherwise protected or maliciously pinprincks the condoms in her nightstand. I know it sounds outrageous and is probably statistically small, but I know of at least one guy in New Mexico who that happened to.

As for the rest, I know one man who is a rapist, and know 3 women who have been raped - so to me at least your numbers make sense.

Who to believe in a rape case is often the cause of much contemplation. Do you believe the man or the woman? Both will claim to be innocent, and one of them has to be wrong. That gets more troublesome when either the accused or the victim is a personal friend or even a barroom acquaintance.

there are no magic bullets or easy answers , but I tend to speak up when generalizations are thrown around about white males - because I am a straight white male, I am not a rapist, and while I will never say that I've been perfect, I have learned from my mistakes and have made good for my errors. Many have not , and never will , but that's no excuse to not see or admit that there are two sides to the coin. Again , I'm not going to say either side is more or less hard to deal with , just that both sides exist.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Delchi: I should point out that I stated in my original post that there good straight white males. (Hey I've even lived with a few of them). It's the ones who listen and believe all the pundits about their oppression that make me a little nuts.

And I apoligize for the joke. I should have put the same criteria in e.g. "How many Rush Limbaugh loving, Glen Beck idolising, white.....etc.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I know how it can feel , I've been " a little nuts " in my time as well on some subjects. Like I said in my other reply " It ain't hard, but it ain't easy ". :)

You did state that there are good ones, but sometimes it's hard to accept that part of it when the rest of it smacks. I think someone once called it ' the disclaimer defense ' when I did it. some folks ( not accusing you ) use that as a way of 'getting away' with making comments that would not normally be acceptable. Like saying " No offense, but .... ( something nasty ) " , or the conversation that starts with " I'll tell you something but promise you won't be offended ... " and you know that what comes next will be something off the wall.

What scares me about the Limbaugh loving Beck idolizing people is that they think that they are always correct, either by distorted facts or divine right. That's just scary.

I have a parody song about Rush, that was made up of samples of his own speeches. also a few other things about people of that ilk. I use them to remind me to not take them so seriously.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. The backhanded compliment/exclusion clause. Its the (and yes someone said this to me a few months ago after I called them on an anti-semitic remark): "Well, you don't LOOK Jewish, or act Jewish, so of course I wasn't talking about YOU! And she was clueless as to why I objected to that remark as well.

Thanks goodness I had my horns and tail tucked away and she didn't notice me trying to get the matzah made out of the blood of Christian babies out of my teeth, LOL!

I really felt it when you talked about weight issues. I'm guessing you are an American like me. I've been much, much skinnier than most people to moderately overweight in my lifetime. And you get criticized so much more when you are heavy. People don't treat you like you're even human. One of the things I actually like about Brit TV is that you actually have people who aren't perfect, who have wrinkles and cellulite and they are still considered beautiful.

I honesty didn't realize that guys got it as bad as women. At least you actually see heavier men on TV and at least some film, theater acters who are admired are heavy. I can't think of a single actress who is the least bit heavy that isn't criticized for it.

Parodies - do you write parodies? I do, have for years. Maybe you're my secret twin separated at birth!