sundries

[rm]

Folks, sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes I don't have all the data, sometimes the answers aren't clear cut. I often assemble these sundries as I'm going through my day, which particularly means the "sometimes I don't have all the data" thing comes into play a lot. There are also lots of cases where I feel information should be out there, even if it's not information I feel qualified to make a thorough judgment on.

Anyway, last night (when I had no Internet! it's broken at home again) rosefox alerted me to this thread regarding an ICFA-related scholarship opportunity for PoC. Talk about: 1. me not having all the data at first (yikes!), 2. the situation not being clear cut (more opportunity for more people; GOH is Nalo Hopkinson vs. ugly RaceFail history) and 3. Me being entirely not qualified to say how anyone should proceed as a I am not an ICFA member/participant, a person offering a scholarship, or a PoC.

So! There's a scholarship opportunity. And there's some important concerns about it. And now you have links to both. As always, I appreciate when you guys have got more than I've got on things and can help me fail better.

Meanwhile! Patty and I are seeing Quartett at BAM tonight. It's based on Dangerous Liasons.

Link from keori: Alan Grayson truly gets how and why politics should be theater.

Bath & Bodyworks employee fired for being Wiccan. Thanks to hughcasey for the thorough write-up.

Large Hadron Collider now felled by birds and baguettes! No, really. Via firefly_124.

"Kiss me where I can't" -- Gilded Age Monuments and Secrets.

WHUT?

Apparently only men tell important stories. Wait, haven't I heard this before? From unpublished exes of mine that wanted my career to be as non-existent as their own?

via lipsum: What the whole God, guns and gays thing is really about -- one particular construction of masculinity as an excuse for irrational, fear-based behavior.

Instead of The Innocence Project's results being taken seriously, the involved students grades have now been subpoenaed to find out the "real motivation" for their justice-related work. Northwestern is refusing to comply.

LGBTQ issues that should be on everyone's radar right now? ENDA. Sadly, I imagine it will be a tougher sell in a bad economy -- the evil gays may take your job. Also, a moment of rage: President Obama, where are you? If you are such a strong advocate for my rights why not even one mention on the Maine situation? Why no emails to Dems in Maine before the vote?

I'm totally worried about how this whole Ft. Hood shooting thing is going to play out. We should probably be discussing the mental health of our soldiers, but instead, I (and many others) worried that it will just be one more excuse for anti-Islam rhetoric. On another note, the civilian police officer who stopped the shooter happens to be a woman.

I'm glad Precious is getting good reviews.

I am up to 7,247 words on ConSweet. The quality of some of my writing is going downhill, because I haven't figure out how to do everything I need to do, but the quality of my first draft writing is actually usually much higher than first draft quality, so me actually writing a first draft and Getting Shit Done is probably fine. Oddest thing current in book: a shopping cart full of pineapples.

via feyandstrange: Doctor Who cufflinks. The rubber Dalek ones are supercute I think. Ianto cosplayers, note Cybermen cufflinks; yes, I fucking dare you!

Comments

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I am so sick and tired of hearing about the opressed white male. Go spend time as a slave, then you can complain. Live your life with a 1 in 3 chance of being raped or beaten, then you can complain. Have your entire immediate family gassed, stoned, murdered, then you can complain.

While I get the idea, there is another side to it. How long does the slavery argument last? Slavery was abolished some time ago. In 100, 200, 300 years from now will we still be blaming white people for slavery? It happened, it was wrong, it was ended, and it is now illegal. Where does it end? I look at the people I work with, the people I see every day, the people I interact with on line ... none of them have ever been a slave, just like me.

The same thing goes for the gassing, stoning, and murder of people. Although it still happens to this day in other countries it's not happening here and we often as a country speak out against it or take action because of it. It happened, it was wrong, we went to war and it was stopped. We remember, and we are reminded so that it does not happen again.

As a male (of any race) you have a chance of being accused of rape , and regardless if you did it or not you are considered guilty and ostracized for life. This does not excuse rape, and I have been known to support the death penalty for rape ( yes it was a knee jerk reaction after a close friend was raped , and I recognize that ) but it cuts both ways. False rape accusations are not something a male can recover from - ever just like a woman never recovers from being raped - ever.

As far as the joke goes, as a straight white male I find it prejudicial. If you think about it, that joke could be seen as "deliberate debasing of other people because they are are a threat to your beliefs".

If the punchline had been " None, they hire a Mexican to do it " would it still be funny? What about " None, that's what a woman is for " ? They all convey a similar negative stereotype.

[rm.livejournal.com]

As a male (of any race) you have a chance of being accused of rape , and regardless if you did it or not you are considered guilty and ostracized for life. This does not excuse rape, and I have been known to support the death penalty for rape ( yes it was a knee jerk reaction after a close friend was raped , and I recognize that ) but it cuts both ways. False rape accusations are not something a male can recover from - ever just like a woman never recovers from being raped - ever.

Most recent statistics I've seen seem to indicate a woman stands a 1 in 6 chances of being raped in her lifetime (I'm assuming, based on nothing other than human nature, that 1 in 6 men are certainly not rapists and that the statistic is the result of repeat offenders). I don't know what the statistics are for false rape accusations, but I have a hard time getting my head around the possibility that they could be nearly as high.

While I will agree that false accusations of rape do cause permanent reputational damage and associated emotional anguish (and sometimes worse, there's certainly been a few guys released from death row on some rape and murder things that DNA later showed they didn't do), I think the experience of being raped and being accused of rape are different, in that a man falsely accused of rape, especially if he doesn't remain in one community all his life, will not necessarily have to deal with this bit of personal backstory with every single person he encounters forever; a woman who has been raped, well.... Finally, however, as someone who has neither been raped nor falsely accused there of, I am in fact pontificating from afar.

As far as the joke goes, as a straight white male I find it prejudicial. If you think about it, that joke could be seen as "deliberate debasing of other people because they are are a threat to your beliefs".

If the punchline had been " None, they hire a Mexican to do it " would it still be funny? What about " None, that's what a woman is for " ? They all convey a similar negative stereotype.

I think this is fair assessment, in the sense that the joke is not fair or useful. Certainly jokes like this distort meaningful discussions of privilege, which is real and harmful, both in the latent crap it brings to society (discussions like this that are upsetting for all concerned) and the ability to abuse privilege that many, but not all, members of privilege groups engage in.

The fact is most people have places where they are privileged and where they are not. I have white privilege. And I have skinny privilege. As a woman I have the privilege of people not responding to me with physical fear.

However, as a woman, a gay person, and a person with an invisible illness there are lots of ways my voice and experience are ignored and disrespected and that I am subsequently put at risk because of.

You get a certain degree of privilege because you're a white dude. You loose a certain degree of privilege because you often speak up for the oppressed and you're a big guy.

It's all math, and we're all allowed to be angry about it, but I try to keep in mind that no matter how oppressed I am, that doesn't take away from someone else's different experiences of oppression as well.

(OMG, sorry for my constant editing, but I don't want to muddy the issue or be a douchebag because I can't spell/type).

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I think the experience of being raped and being accused of rape are different,

I agree completely. Again, I was trying to show two sides, not say that either one is worse than the other.

I try to keep in mind that no matter how oppressed I am, that doesn't take away from someone else's different experiences of oppression as well.

the ability to abuse privilege that many, but not all, members of privilege groups engage in.


I try to do the same thing, and I appreciate and value the fact that you look at it that way. At the end of the day I feel that if I am to be given this privilege or held accountable for having it without choice, then at the very least I should be recognized as a person who has learned not to abuse it. By saying learned , I mean that I have made my mistakes, but learned and grown from them.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

I've got new for you. Slavery exists to this day. Sometimes even within our own country (unless you don't think women brought from other countries to be used in the sex trade doesn't count).

I find the rest of your arguments rather lame. Yes you could be accused of rape, but the chances of you being so are extremely small. Not one in three. And you know what, you could be raped. But your chance of being raped or seriously beaten is not one in three.

And that's my point. I'm sick of hearing about the oppression of the white straight male. You still make $1.00 for every $.85 cents a woman makes in the U.S. normalizing for years of experience and education. You still hold almost all of the CEO positions in this country and the vast majority of political positions from the Senate to the Dog Catcher. You have no idea how good you have it. As for false accusations, do you have any idea how many black men have been exonerated after being convicted of a murder and put on death row. How many white men? The difference is staggering.

You want to feel prejudice. Try swapping places with someone who isn't part of your priviledged class and see how you like it. Go to your house of worship or cemetary and find it constantly dessicrated. Walk down the street in fear of being beat up because of who you love. Find your opportunities limited by the color of your skin or your country of origin. Then you might, just might have a clue with what the rest of us live with in the good old US of A every fucking day of our lives.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I was assuming that you meant slavery in the sense of European settlers trafficking in African slaves in early American history. I agree that other forms of slavery including the sex slavery trade do exist and even thrive in some parts of the world.

As for the rest , in my industry to my observation women have made similar achievements, get the same pay as I do and do just as good of a job as I do - perhaps I'm unique that I work in technology - as a security engineer. However the company I work for has two female executives at VP level or higher and I can assure you they make more than I do on any given scale. I believe that the wage difference and lack of upper positions exists - but I have not seen it first hand. In my professional career I have worked with , and for many women who do not fit the description you are painting. This is a career spanning 20 years in upper level work. I think your data may be outdated.

As for swapping places with someone who is not part of my privileged class, I think you need to step back and admit that there are disadvantages to my class, and maybe even try to figure out what my class is first.

I don't have a house or worship, because I belong to no religion. I am constantly scorned by people of all religions for that.

I have been beat up numerous times for various reasons. Sometimes for being white in the wrong neighborhood, sometimes for being a " geek " or a " brain " , once because I said out loud " of course a woman could be president " ... but that was grade school. I also have been threatened or had people I am with threatened while walking down the street for being "goth" , and by association a " fag ". I've had people throw things at me from rooftops while walking to a club. I've had animal blood thrown on me and punched numerous times while working as a clinic escort. Ever been chased down the streets of New Orleans for yelling at frat boys who would not stop hounding a woman to show her breasts? Fastest 1/4 mile I ever ran in my life.

My opportunities have been limited by the color of my skin. At least three times I have been passed over for jobs and told afterwords that they had to give the job to another person in order to meet EOE quotas. I had a Native American blame me for " Raping all the women and killing all the buffalo ".
To this day there are songs out there glorifying killing me because of the color of my skin. " Kill the white devil any one will do " and so on.

I am also overweight, and technically handicapped due to a spine injury. Want to see how " the rest of you " treat someone who is out of shape? Heard any good fat jokes lately? Do you enjoy the privilege of shopping in the mall instead of having to go to the one store in town that has clothes in your size? Look Around at all the media , never see 1 ounce of body fat there - and hey everyone knows if you aren't a size 4 or have 6 pack abs you are worthless. Ever get yelled at for walking too slow because you are in 24/7 pain?

Here's a better one - try being a white straight male who loves and supports his GBLT friends and coworkers, and yet because he is white and male is assumed to be part of the problem and the reason why things are so screwed up every time he walks down the street. It's not fun being hated, and I know because I am hated.

All I'm saying is - I may have it " better " by your reasoning , but it's not a cakewalk ... there may be advantages, but there are also downsides and it's time people recognized that. I won't go so far as to say that the privileged white male you speak of does not exist, but there are fewer of them than you think, and not every white male on the street is one.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

The thing about privilege is almost everyone has it in some quarter. I have privilege as a white person, I have privilege as a person with education and qualifications, I have privilege to a certain degree because of where I come from. Straight PoC have straight privilege. Gay guys can have male privilege. Identifying where you have privilege doesn't mean you need to be made to feel bad about being what you are, nor does it mean that people think you don't have problems, or that the problems you do have aren't meaningful - it's not a competition. It about learning to see how your experience is different from some other people's. If you can acknowledge the areas in which you have privilege, you can see the flipside, where other people don't, and it'll help you be a better, more understanding friend and ally. If someone's trying to tell you (generic you) something about their experience, and your response is, well, I have problems too, that's not listening to them; that's derailing the conversation and making it all about yourself.

I agree the joke was maybe not in great taste (hey, some of my best friends are straight white guys) but a joke at the expense of the powerful majority is quantifiably different in the level of damage it can do than a joke about a minority, which acts as another prop to further reinforce the marginalization and otherness of certain groups in society.

Regarding the rape issue, I understand how awful and damaging it is for an individual to be falsely accused - this happened to the father of a friend of mine. It's a shitty thing to happen, but it's a problem on an individual level, it's not something which is sympomatic of a wider system of marginalization or oppression (at least, not of men - one could argue that feeling powerless and voiceless could be a motivation on some level for a woman to falsely accusing someone, and no, that's not the way to deal with it, but then our society doesn't really cultivate a healthy culture when it comes to this issue).

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I agree with the idea that everyone has some kind of privilege , what I object to the assumption that being white and male instantly makes you guilty of abusing that privilege. It's not a competition , but more often than not you hear about white male privilege as a negative thing - as if its no good and no good can come of it. I like to compare problems and not ' derail ' , for example a person may say to me that they were beaten by someone they were dating, and I can say well I was beaten by a school bully so I have some idea what it's like. I'm trying to find common ground and show empathy, not sympathy. I'm not trying to have a contest, I'm trying to show that I'm not just simply giving an empty " Oh wow I understand that's soooo horrible " , but relating to how it must feel by similar experience. In fact I'm trying to not make it all about me, but building a bridge of understanding by personal experience.

Because honestly, if you have never been beaten by a gang of people you really don't know what it's like. Just like I'll never really know what it's like to have a period, give birth to a child, or be objectified.

If two women were talking , and one says ' I was raped ' , and the other replies ' I was raped once too, I know how it feels ' would you tell the second woman that she was derailing and making it about her?

a joke at the expense of the powerful majority is quantifiably different in the level of damage it can do than a joke about a minority, which acts as another prop to further reinforce the marginalization and otherness of certain groups in society.

I can't say I agree with that. I think that the amount of damage is irrelevant because it can't be accurately measured. By making a joke about a group of people or a person , you are marginalizing them and pointing out their otherness - regardless if they are a majority or a minority. If we want to create a place free of that kind of treatment we have to stand against it in all instances , not just when it's convenient.

I'm no saint, once when I was called on the carpet for a questionable joke and shown that saying something hurtful is just saying something hurtful. If you (generalized you, not personal) rally against jokes that marginalize one group , then crack one that that is hurtful against another ... what is really being said? Do as I say, not as I do?

Once upon a time in a bar I was listening and partaking in a group of people telling the worst most offensive jokes they knew. Nothing was held back , race, religion, women, men , and so on .. right up until someone told a joke about a child molester. The man who had just told one about a woman with two black eyes flew off the handle and started screaming at people that being molested was no joke.

Now granted this makes for the big question - when is joking joking and not offensive? How do you know what to say and when? It's a challenge and many people loose. There is no easy answer - but saying that it's ok to dump on one group and not another is not one of them - regardless of the reason.

" We make jokes about you because you are a minority , and different than us "
" Oh yeah ? well we make jokes about you because you are the majority and different than us "

who is right, who is wrong?

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

I understand what you're saying about empathy, and of course that is a good thing, but you do also have to understand when you're comparing like with like - and that you can't assume that you can always get the experience of someone who faces a completely different set of challenges to you. Say if one woman tells her friend she was raped, and the friend replies with a story about how she got hit by a car one time, that's really not the same thing. Or say she confides in a male friend, and he tells her about this time he got mugged. Being run over or being mugged are both awful things, and they both present their own set of challenges, but it isn't the same as being raped, and by bringing it up you (generic you again) risk changing the subject, you risk making it about you rather than her, and you risk demonstrating to this woman who already feels about as shitty as a person can feel that you're not really listening to what she's saying.

I get this as a transgendered person sometimes, to a lesser degree; I have people who tell me they were always a tomboy growing up too, or how much they hate wearing skirts too, or how, God, putting on make up is such a hassle they sometimes don't even bother either - it's not the same thing, and while I get that they're trying to be kind and to empathize, what I'm hearing is that they don't understand. It's not their fault they don't understand, it's a complicated issue, but if they won't listen when I say, actually my experience is not the same as that - that is their fault. People can usually tell if you're telling them about something that's actually not the same, even if you can't, and this can have the effect of making them feel even more isolated. There are times when the thing to do is just listen, or even to say, "I really can't imagine what you're going through." Because you, me, and most other people have privilege, so yeah, there are going to be times when we really can't imagine.

Regarding the joke, if a group has overwhelming power within a society, you can't take that power away from them just by making a joke. But if someone doesn't have power, and their lack of power is reinforced in tiny ways by society and on an individual level every day, then that's what your joke is contributing to. You're kicking at someone who's already gone down. When discrimination against straight white males becomes something which affects every facet of their life - their employment opportunities, their earning power, their safety walking down the street, the way service staff and law enforcement officers treat them, their right to marry whom they choose, etc, then jokes about white straight males will be the same kind of problematic (and note I am not saying no straight white male ever has problems in any of these areas, but if they do, it is not *because* they are straight, white and male).

Note also I didn't say I thought it was okay to tell jokes at the expense of anyone - but I did say it was different, and that's why I think it's different. I was with a friend and his kid the other day, and at one point the kid was telling his dad how he (the dad) was stupid. Not very kind, but the kid is 3 and his dad is 32 - I think he can handle it. It doesn't actually matter what his toddler thinks of him, he's still the guy with the power. I don't think I have to explain how much more damaging it would be if Dad were to tell his kid in all earnestness, and repeatedly, that he was the one who was stupid. You probably couldn't quantify that damage either, but that wouldn't make it any less real. It matters who has the power, who has the agency, over the other person; that's how they can actually hurt you, not with what they say.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I understand that as a transgendered person you face more fear walking down the street any given day than most people do their entire lives. I watched as a preop friend who is an antiques dealer get ripped off by people who counted on her fear of going to the police as their angle to get away with robbing her.

I ran this by a friend of mine who responded :

"A slap at a minority does no more to keep them down than does a slap at a majority bring them down. This statement is about how people view the world..."

having been the butt of many jokes , both cruel and harmless I can tell you that they sometimes had quite the opposite effect. I believe that the impact depends on the individual. Also , as I have said in other comments, the concept of it being ok to slap at someone just because they are in the majority is as wrong as thinking its ok to slap at them because they are in the minority.

Role reversal is not equality. If it is wrong to do to one person then it's wrong to do to anyone.

This is strictly IMHO.

and note I am not saying no straight white male ever has problems in any of these areas, but if they do, it is not *because* they are straight, white and male)

I disagree. I personally have been targeted for being white and male in some rather nasty places. North Las Vegas for one. Try walking down the street in parts of Brooklyn and being a white male - you will be lucky to come out alive. The gentrified starbuced parts are not what they were ten years ago. Try refueling your car in Atlanta at 3 am sometime.

Ever hear white hate music? http://home.att.net/~phosphor/introtogrammys.html
Check out what some grammy winners have to say in their music ...

Law enforcement : http://gothamist.com/2009/10/12/nypd_has_new_name_for_hipsters.php NYPD calls hipsters marshmallows because they are white and soft.

And on a personal note , being supportive , defensive and caring about my GBLT friends, coworkers, and family of choice when I hear someone whose rights I respect and support with my money, my vote and with my emotions make negative stereotype jokes about me , a white straight male, it hurts. It makes me ask why do I support people who cut me down? The answer for me is simple - there are people out there I respect and care about who need my help. Who have treated me as an equal, or that I consider a mentor in teaching me the right way. I owe them that much regardless what others think about me.

I had to learn this the hard way. I have done my share of wrong, hurtful things. Even when I had reason to , I knew that it wasn't the right thing to do but what I had to do to survive.

The father should not have told the kid he was being stupid, he should have told him he was being disrespectful, and why it was wrong. Kids think if you give them a chance.

[avram]

While I get the idea, there is another side to it. How long does the slavery argument last?

At least until the damage caused by slavery is gone.

The legal second-class status of black American lasted well into the 20th century (you've heard of Jim Crow laws, right?), ending only in the mid-1960s with the passage of the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act. Southern white resentment over those acts led to Nixon's Southern Strategy, which gave Southern white bigots a disproportionate degree of political power at the national level up until, well, just the past few years. Some amount of current anti-Obama anger is driven by this racist anger, and it remains to be seen just how that's going to play out.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

That's the best answer that I have ever received to the question. I have to say that I agree with you.

I think we are at a turning point , but yeah we have a long way to go.

[phaetonschariot.livejournal.com]

The most accurate stats on false rape claims point at about 2%, the same as any other crime - some go up to about 8%. Stats on women being raped is between one in three and one in six. Most rapes are never reported, most of the ones that are reported never go to trial, and most of the ones that go to trial (http://keieeeye.insanejournal.com/200119.html) involve the defense lawyer interrogating the victim on what she was wearing, how much she had to drink, her previous sexual history, who she was with, how she was acting, whether or not she willingly went somewhere alone with her rapist, whether she consented to lesser sexual activity such as kissing. The reason some rape cases never go to trial is because the victim mentally and emotionally cannot handle it.

Also, some men who are accused of rape aren't actually judged that harshly by their peers. Because of the myth that false rape claims are a dime a dozen, often if they say "dude she totally consented and then changed her mind" or just "she was lying to get revenge", he'll be believed. Not only by men, but by other women. On the other side of that coin, a woman who's been raped often is not believed - by her family, by her friends, by society at large, by the police officers she reports it to. There was a case I think a few months ago where a woman was raped during a burglary at her place of work, on camera, and she was arrested for making a false claim.

Added to that, a man who's been falsely accused of rape probably isn't going to be traumatised enough that the fear centre of his brain spends the rest of his life trying to convince him that every woman is a threat. On the other hand, even a woman who hasn't been raped has to be constantly aware of the possibility (http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/), and one who has (note that all women react differently and some will bounce back with little psychological damage, but many others will not) will be even moreso.

rm already mentioned the other side of the "1 in x women get raped" statistic, where that means that 1 in x men are rapists - even if you assume that each rapist assaults ten different women, that means that between one in thirty and one in sixty men are rapists. I know I've met well more than sixty men.

Yes, there are problems in being a straight white male. No, they are not comparable. And most of them, in fact, boil down to the system of privilege that places men at the top in the first place.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

I never said, nor did I intend to say that one was worse than the other, just that the other side exists.

As far as peer judgment - I recall the recent case where a few college kids were accused of rape and were very harshly judged before finding out that they were innocent. Granted I don't like using that example because I think there was alot of wrong on both sides, but there was apparently no rape.

I'd like to read more about the study that shows the trauma center of a woman's brain being effected by rape in the way you said. It's not that I don't believe you - I'm genuinely interested and would like to see if there is a comparable study in men who experience similar trauma.

It's no comparison but I do know guys who insist on carrying their own birth control because they are afraid to trust a woman who claims she is otherwise protected or maliciously pinprincks the condoms in her nightstand. I know it sounds outrageous and is probably statistically small, but I know of at least one guy in New Mexico who that happened to.

As for the rest, I know one man who is a rapist, and know 3 women who have been raped - so to me at least your numbers make sense.

Who to believe in a rape case is often the cause of much contemplation. Do you believe the man or the woman? Both will claim to be innocent, and one of them has to be wrong. That gets more troublesome when either the accused or the victim is a personal friend or even a barroom acquaintance.

there are no magic bullets or easy answers , but I tend to speak up when generalizations are thrown around about white males - because I am a straight white male, I am not a rapist, and while I will never say that I've been perfect, I have learned from my mistakes and have made good for my errors. Many have not , and never will , but that's no excuse to not see or admit that there are two sides to the coin. Again , I'm not going to say either side is more or less hard to deal with , just that both sides exist.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Delchi: I should point out that I stated in my original post that there good straight white males. (Hey I've even lived with a few of them). It's the ones who listen and believe all the pundits about their oppression that make me a little nuts.

And I apoligize for the joke. I should have put the same criteria in e.g. "How many Rush Limbaugh loving, Glen Beck idolising, white.....etc.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I know how it can feel , I've been " a little nuts " in my time as well on some subjects. Like I said in my other reply " It ain't hard, but it ain't easy ". :)

You did state that there are good ones, but sometimes it's hard to accept that part of it when the rest of it smacks. I think someone once called it ' the disclaimer defense ' when I did it. some folks ( not accusing you ) use that as a way of 'getting away' with making comments that would not normally be acceptable. Like saying " No offense, but .... ( something nasty ) " , or the conversation that starts with " I'll tell you something but promise you won't be offended ... " and you know that what comes next will be something off the wall.

What scares me about the Limbaugh loving Beck idolizing people is that they think that they are always correct, either by distorted facts or divine right. That's just scary.

I have a parody song about Rush, that was made up of samples of his own speeches. also a few other things about people of that ilk. I use them to remind me to not take them so seriously.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. The backhanded compliment/exclusion clause. Its the (and yes someone said this to me a few months ago after I called them on an anti-semitic remark): "Well, you don't LOOK Jewish, or act Jewish, so of course I wasn't talking about YOU! And she was clueless as to why I objected to that remark as well.

Thanks goodness I had my horns and tail tucked away and she didn't notice me trying to get the matzah made out of the blood of Christian babies out of my teeth, LOL!

I really felt it when you talked about weight issues. I'm guessing you are an American like me. I've been much, much skinnier than most people to moderately overweight in my lifetime. And you get criticized so much more when you are heavy. People don't treat you like you're even human. One of the things I actually like about Brit TV is that you actually have people who aren't perfect, who have wrinkles and cellulite and they are still considered beautiful.

I honesty didn't realize that guys got it as bad as women. At least you actually see heavier men on TV and at least some film, theater acters who are admired are heavy. I can't think of a single actress who is the least bit heavy that isn't criticized for it.

Parodies - do you write parodies? I do, have for years. Maybe you're my secret twin separated at birth!