sundries

[rm]

Wait, isn't this the plot of one of the Twilight books, but like, with sharks or something? via enegim.

I try, I really really try not to be anti-faith in general or specific around here. I'm not an atheist and I grew up with a lot of different faith traditions because of family wackiness. I have a huge variety of believers and non-believers of many different faiths on this friendslist and so-forth and so-on. Among other things, I have close LGBTQ friends who are also members of the Catholic Chruch and try to exist within and with their church is a way that reduces the harm some of the church's current doctrine causes. All of which means I generally don't post about anti-gay stuff from religious quarters -- it's not a surprise, and I don't really view it as my problem, until it injects itself into politics.

The D.C. Catholic Archdiocese has threatened to stop helping thousands of the needy in the nation's capital if the District's City Council approves a pending bill which states that marriage between 2 people in the District of Columbia shall not be denied or limited on the basis of gender, and which also ensure[s] that no minister of any religious society who is authorized to celebrate marriages shall be required to celebrate any marriage...or solemnization of a same-sex marriage.

This is not how we show compassion, ease suffering or let God do the judging.

Can I make a request? When we talk about models being too thin, or being photoshopped to look too thin (things we should be genuinely outraged/concerned about, I agree), can we stop saying they look like "concentration camp victims?" It makes me uncomfortable both as a Jewish and a queer person and as a person with a genetic disease that makes me very, very thin. If you think I look sickly, it's because I am sick.

So-and-so "needs a sandwich" talk sucks too. It's also worth remembering that eating disorders are illnesses, not personal moral failings (cultural culpability is another matter entirely); people with anorexia aren't bad people, they are people with anorexia.

So confronting skinny privilege/expectation? Good! Saying that a given level of skinniness looks sickly to you? Fine! Blithely making the Holocaust comparison or judging people who have various nutrient absorbtion diseases or eating disorders? Not cool.

Apparently there's going to be some weird Miracle Whip vs. Mayo thing on Stephen Colbert tonight? There were weird angry Miracle Whip ads about in the paper this morning. Patty hates mayo (and Miracle Whip) more than anything, but we'll be watching anyway.

Women with brain tumors more likely to wind up divorced. The numbers could mean a lot of different things, but few of them are good.

Malcolm X was bisexual? Seriously, I just got linked to this, I have no idea, I must sit and read. via i_amthecosmos. (Actually, the article is a bit crap in several ways, delineated in comments below).

Megan Fox and the construction of celebrity. I don't think she's that sly, but the topic is always of interest (celebrity construction, not Megan Fox).

In New York, we all look in each other's windows.

“He would sew in the dark every night, except for a small desk light. His hands would flutter up like a moth to the light,” she said. “I found the image so lonely and sad, but somehow soothing. Maybe because I was lonely, too. It gave me comfort.”

Look, I just pass this shit along. ALSO, WHO IN INDIA TOLD TONY HELLO FROM THE TORCHWOOD LESBIANS? FESS UP!

There's a word for one of the strange things ConSweet is playing with via Io Station! Defictionalization! I probably should have already known this. via tod_hollykim.

OMG, I just had this conversation with Sprint. I feel sorta bad about it:
Me: "I'm going abroad in a couple of days and want to know if my phone will work."
Them: "Will you be leaving the country?"
Me: "That's what abroad means."

Zurich progress:
- I've called my bank
- I've rented a mobile for there
- I'll do all cat-related errands tonight
- this just leaves currency exchange and packing tomorrow
- I also, unrelatedly, but hey important phone calls, played more phone tag with the headshot guy.

Comments

[matthewwdaly.livejournal.com]

Saying that a given level of skinniness looks sickly to you? Fine!

I am inclined to disagree, as that sounds like ableist language. I don't so much mind someone having aesthetic standards based around body shape, but there is an important distinction between speaking actively about _your_ standards and speaking passively about _her_ shape. Saying that someone looks sickly is as misguided as saying that they sound insane; if you're not qualified to make a medical diagnosis then choose your words with more care.

[rm.livejournal.com]

That's fair. I'm mostly trying to say "I get that I have skinny privilege, so complaining about people being mean to me about it isn't really that important, but...." and I'm still working out how to phrase that.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Isn't saying that someone "looks" sick the way you express the observation if you don't have medical experience?

"I could be wrong, she could be perfectly fine but to me she looks sick/sickly " ?

Say in the same sense as saying someone " looks " Italian, but in reality their heritage is Polish. The observer may not be a genealogical expert but is making an observation based on their knowledge/experience.

Making an unqualified medical diagnosis would be seeing someone on the street , or in a photo and saying " Oh man , they are totally anorexic " , or " Yeah that model is probably bulimic ". In these cases , unless you have some medical background and have worked with the person it's pretty much out of line.

[matthewwdaly.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest that it is a dangerous ground. Saying that someone doesn't look like a healthy person does is a very value-laden statement, and is not likely to be appreciated at all if the person is, in fact, healthy but doesn't conform to your personal standard of beauty. I can't speak to Polish-Italian tensions, but I sure would regret telling a mixed-race person in the United States that they "seem white to me" no matter how much racial discrimination experience I have or how many "I-statements" I put in front of it.

I've been unpacking my privilege for a little while, and I've got a long way yet to go. But one observation that has served me well is that my unique perception of reality is heavily skewed by the programming that I have received through my life and is far less fascinating to other people than I would have suspected unless it is in a field in which I have a respectable mastery. I hope I'm never so uncouth as to look at a picture of a supermodel and say "Ewww, gross!" But even that seems better than to pretend that my distaste is justified by some superhuman ability to diagnose illnesses through airbrushed photographs.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Wow , that's a lot of food for thought....


Saying that someone doesn't look like a healthy person does is a very value-laden statement, and is not likely to be appreciated at all if the person is, in fact, healthy but doesn't conform to your personal standard of beauty.

See the thing is you crossed over between not looking healthy and an opinion of beauty. It is possible that a person can look sick, and have it be removed from any judgment on beauty. I can see a person who looks sick ... let's say runny nose , cough , voice blown from a sore throat .. whatever ... and say that they look sick - and not at all making a judgment on their beauty.

I wasn't trying to touch on Polish-Italian 'tensions' but trying to show a similar situation with a different context.

What does " unpacking my privilege " mean?

And yes yes a hundred times yes. Everyone is skewed by the programming that you are given by society and mass media. I think that it's a point of pride when a person can learn from that and adjust accordingly. It's a long haul road and not at all easy.

It would be uncouth to say " ewwww " out loud, but if a person appears to be sick to you ( generic you , not you personally ) there's not much stopping that opinion from forming. Knowing it's dangerous territory means you don't vocalize the opinion.

Generally speaking people look at me and think " eww gross " , and they never really say it but you can see it in their faces/actions.