sundries

[rm]

Patty downloaded a bunch of her trip photos from her camera to her computer last night. Many of them are stunning to a breathtaking degree. I'm hoping she posts hers soon. I still have several islands worth to share with you all, but am a bit swamped right now.

Headshots February 5th. Okay, actually more like headshots, compcard, genderqueer author promo shot, and a video headshot slate thing. Look, I've needed to do it forever. That's all I've got to say about that. I'm having another neurotic convo with the photog today (me being neurotic, not him).

In recognition that my life does its awesomest shit when things become oddly circular, I'm now feeling ridiculously sanguine about something that was making kinda hysterical and edgy yesterday.

This is the item about which I have nothing to say.

Consweet!

Meanwhile, I love when I tell people what to do, and they do it, and then everyone gets what they want.

Lots of new updates on the Gallifrey schedule. I'm now on three panels. I suspect this is relatively close to final for me and everyone else now. I'm pleased by everything except that I'll be missing Tony interview Georgia Moffett, but then who the hell ever went to Gally for what happens on stage? So I have the death/mourning panel, immediately followed by the crossplay panel. I've said since the beginning that I simply will not cosplay at the death/mourning panel both because it's too weird for everyone and because it's a distraction from the material and because I feel like it's all sorts of disrespectful and I also might cry, but if I don't, then I'm not in cosplay for, you know, A FUCKING COSPLAY PANEL THAT I REALLY CARE ABOUT.

Another review of my play. This one awful. But not in a scathing precise awful way that I can actually take to heart, just in a "it's about whores and a retard and I don't get it" way. They also didn't get a spoof of Othello, so it's cool.

help_haiti auctions are winding up. Items with no bids yet are here.

hakeber continues to follow the earthquake swarm. Generally, aftershocks continue to go down in magnitude. So the 6.1 that hit Haiti today? That's extra alarming.

Starting in 2011, NYTimes.com will charge for access to articles over a certain quota per month. I can tell you right now, this isn't going to work.

Sexual transgression and digital armies -- when technology makes it easy for everyone to catch anyone, in which directions are our values going to shift? Hate the tone of the piece, love the question. Fanfic and original fic writers looking at how we get from our current values to a different set of sexual mores, look here.

Men, women, success and marraige:

Ms. Zielinski, the fashion stylist, said her best friend, a man, told her once: “ ‘You are confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self-sufficient. What man is going to want you?’ He laughed, but I found that pretty depressing.”

Robert B. Parker has died. He's the dude who brought us the Spencer books. I got into them for a brief while, because my ex was really into them. They were airport books for me and of interest because of gender -- men were men and women were women and maybe I could figure out how to do _something_ from them. I didn't. And then I got bored. But I was fond of them, and they were friends when I needed them.

Comments

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Re: the success and marriage link. I read that this morning too.

Elaine Richardson, who is in her 50s, is divorced and owns a health care consulting firm in Westchester, said that men “call you high maintenance if you look like you don’t need anyone to take care of you.”

Huh? Tangent, but WTF does "high maintenance" even mean, anyway? That's like the all-purpose insult for women. Doesn't work and expects to be taken care of in the manner to which she's become accustomed, has too many emotional needs, is oddly attached to her blow dryer... and now "high maintenance" means you don't require anything from anyone else? I do not think this term means what people think it means, or even know. I hate that term with a passion.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I read that and thought my eyes were going to cross. Self-sufficient ≠ high-maintenance.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

It's like some kind of code which means something, but I don't know what.

Bitchy? Up herself? (Without saying those things outright?) I don't even know. But it doesn't mean "likes nice things, works hard and pays for 'em herself".

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think part of the code is "a woman always wants from a man better than what she can get for herself." So if a woman can afford a nice house and good jewelry and a great car -- shit... a man's gonna have to give her even more expensive stuff.

Such bullshit.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I think it bugged my husband mentally for about a month, when my salary surpassed his. I had always made considerably less.

And then I got another raise a few years later and he was like: "WOOHOO! Shopping!"

High maintenance.

[ekatarina.livejournal.com]

I once went buggy on a guy who had told me that he had had a crush on me but never did anything about it because "you looked like you didn't need me."

Well, bucko, I don't "need" chocolate cake but it make smy life better. Would I be more attractive to you if I was lying dead of starvation on my cold, dark apartment floor because I couldn't feed myself or pay my bills?

At that visual I think something clued in because he just sat quietly for a while and then apologized for being an idiot.

We never have gone out but over the intervening years I have seen him "pay court" to women he might not have looked at twice when he was younger.

some of them can learn. Sigh. The others,... sigh.


Ekatarina, decidely *not* starving, cold or sitting in the dark

[moljn.livejournal.com]

The only way that quote makes sense is if "look like you don't need anyone to take care of you," means that you look like you spend a lot of money on your (self-sufficient and/or business-like) appearance.

[moljn.livejournal.com]

Or what rm said.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I don't know. If you're taking care of your own maintenance, don't know why that'd bother your partner! :D

[moizissimo.livejournal.com]

To me, high maintenance is that person you're always waiting for because they need to look perfect. They spend all their money on clothes/makeup/accessories. They need to be in the centre of attention all the time.

A relationship with that kind of person requires a lot of maintenance. It's not necessarily insecurity, but it sometimes looks very similar.

But I also like rm's explanation.