sundries, mostly about bullying

[rm]

During Passover, the Vatican has compared the tone of the outrage currently being directed at the pope and the Catholic church over the various sexual abuse scandals to the persecution of Jews. NOT ON.

The FAA finally moves towards doing the right thing and relaxes some of its archaic rules about pilots and antidepressants. This includes an amnesty policy for pilots who are currently taking anti-depressants and lying about it for fear of losing their license.

The Pentagon has just realized that doing research on repealing DADT violates DADT.

The Superintendent of Schools where a girl hanged herself after being systemically bullied blames the victim over here on CNN. Apparently, you see, the dead girl was "a very private person." When people are insulting you at all hours of the day (at school, in the town, on your cell phone, on the Internet) and telling you that you are worthless and deserve to die and telling everyone else you're a druggie slut whore that deserves to die, you know what? You don't go for help. Because you only know one thing: it doesn't exist.

A New York Times article seems to indicate that bullying at the school is a systemic problem, and people knew about it in this particular case. Additionally, a girl who spoke up on the news about what happened to the girl who killed herself was then subsequently bullied herself; not that that was anything new either, apparently.

Meanwhile, an op-ed addresses the "Myth of Mean Girls," which is worth reading for the degree that it reminds us that there's not been a sudden increase in violence and harassment among girls due to the Internet or whatever else we're blaming this week. However, what the piece misses, to my mind, is the idea that just because the problem isn't new, doesn't mean the problem doesn't deserve attention.

I went to all all girl's school, and because of that you cannot convince me that brutality amongst women is the exception to the rule. Why would it be, when we are told at every turn that the only way to stand up is to knock someone else down and that our entire existence should be devoted to competing for scarce resources (men, beauty, love) without which we are nothing. I know all about mean girls. So is it possible the only reason I didn't kill myself as a teen is that once I was home they largely couldn't get to me and so I at least got a few hours off each day? Yeah, it's damn possible, but I also stole money out of my mother's purse each night, in case I had to run away; it wasn't like I believed one day things would get better.

Bullying, to my mind, has always been about the enforcement of supposed norms and of superficial order. Adults overlook it because it's "just one of those things" or because they went through it too or because they were bullies themselves (or still are). A certain level of bullying is even arguably convenient for disciplinarians -- let the kids keep each other in line, who cares if ti's like Lord of the Flies. I mean, let's face it, adults bully and encourage the bullying of children all the time. What we do to queer kids in this culture is just one example.

I finished the werewolf story. Apparently when given the slightest opportunity, whether I mean to or not, I write horror filtered through farce. I don't know if it's good or if it will suit, but it's in. I'm grateful.

Comments

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

I was a social misfit and nothing worse until we moved and changed schools. We were really poor and I wore clothes from K-Mart, which still sold only slightly flared jeans in 1981. I would be stopped in the halls and asked what I was thinking with that outfit. From there, there was taunting, spitting, pushing, ect.

I was in Special Education classes, not for dyslexia or anything solid, but because of "behavioral problems".(I didn't speak above a whisper in school that whole year.) I had a teacher who had health problems and would go to the bathroom for up to twenty minutes at a time. Leaving me in a trailer classroom with boys who were about 14 and huge and several other students doing their goddamn best to be invisible.

Those guys started making jokes, laughing, and walking towards me. I waited until they got within striking distance, then went from zero to batshit, shrieking and swinging my desk at them. I think I clipped one of them.

This gave me the reputation as a "crazy bitch", and while I was still bullied it was from a further distance. No displinary action was taken. Years later when I got my records from the Special Education people (which proved that they had lied to me for years about having a learning disability) it said in my record for that year that I was "somewhat impulsive".

Also that year, I knocked a six foot boy over with my backpack. (I was 11-12 and about 114 pounds.) He never bothered me again either.

[ravenskye8.livejournal.com]

*nods*

I found that the "crazy bitch" label worked to keep people at bay...

After you throw a desk at someone, throw someone else into a trophy case, and otherwise react violently when provoked, people tend to leave you alone...

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Later on I took karate lessons, which gave me a little more disipline, so I didn't actually knock people around as much. But by then my reputation was solidified, so I didn't really have to.