PSA: Queer

Jun. 18th, 2010 11:38 am
[personal profile] rm
(This is an outgrowth of a comment thread I'm having with someone in their journal. If that someone is you, no worries, we're cool).

Queer (as an adjective, we will not be using the noun here) is not inherently synonymous with gay and lesbian or LGBT.1

Many LGBT people do not like or choose to use queer and/or feel it to represent something additional or instead of gay and lesbian or LGBT.

Because queer was originally a slur and not all LGBT people like to use it,2 it's generally best that straight people don't use the word unless talking about people and groups that self-identify as queer.

Queer can be considered a non-assimilationist word. Some LGBT people who are not interested in getting equal rights by proving we're just like straight people prefer the term. (This is like when I rant about how "I'm queer and you can tell and I like it that way.")

Some non-trans people who are gender non-conforming use the term or variations there of (i.e., genderqueer).

Some trans people who are additionally not straight use the term as a shorthand way of encompassing multiple identities.

Some people who would traditionally be called "bisexual" use the term to avoid the reinforcement of a binary gender dichotomy.

Some people prefer queer because it removes the separation between men and women in the LGBT community, breaks down barriers between bisexual and other orientation identities, and can be more inclusive of the T part of the LGBT (which often gets pushed aside, because oppressed groups can be crappy to each other too).

Others like it because it's only one syllable.

Additionally queer is sometimes used to encompass kink, polyamorous and other non-traditional relationship styles in a way that may or may not be related to LGBT individuals depending on the community.3

As usual, I don't speak for all LGBT or queer people, just myself and my experience of our communities. If you have questions or more to add, consider the comments a free for all. I'm particularly interested in other people's sense and connotations for the word as ongoing discussion in the original thread is revealing that they are highly varied.




1 A commenter reminds me that LGBT is just not enough these days, nor is LGBTQ, which you'll also often see. The full acronym these days often includes not just LGBT, but Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual and more.
2 It's also just been brought to my attention that age may be a factor in how one reacts to queer so this PSA might seem more or less peculiar to you depending on your age.
3 Please see comments for additional discussion of this as there is disagreement on this one. It is problematic for many, and I tend to agree, although the arguments for its inclusion in queer also make a lot of sense.

ETA: Please read the comments. This is such an awesome display of diverse identities, respectful discussion about fraught issues and random people making friends I can't quite get over it. I am loving the LJ today.

Date: 2010-06-18 11:57 pm (UTC)
jeliza: custom avatar by hexdraws (pyjama squid)
From: [personal profile] jeliza
Especially since being kinky or poly doesn't mean someone is open-minded or a queer ally.

That is the kicker for me, as well. (And when I had forgotten that this was true because I kept to a really small social circle for a while, I got introduced to FetLife, and damned if that knowledge didn't come roaring back in spades. *shudder*)

And I think your point about giving into biphobia/feeding assumptions about bisexuality is a good ones to keep in mind, too; I will admit that queer not only *feels* more accurate for me because of gender issues (both personal and conception thereof) but it takes less energy than dealing with the baggage of bisexuality, most of the time.

Date: 2010-06-19 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrinesunset.livejournal.com
My personal experience with kink is admittedly fairly limited, and mostly limited to the Internet, but I've seen a lot of heteronormativity that makes me feel a little out of place. FetLife has actually been one of my better experiences.

I'd be lying if I said that biphobia doesn't intimidate me, but I do like the idea of standing up to it. I don't go out of my way to identify as bisexual either, though. I pretty much equally go between that and queer.

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