PSA: Queer

Jun. 18th, 2010 11:38 am
[personal profile] rm
(This is an outgrowth of a comment thread I'm having with someone in their journal. If that someone is you, no worries, we're cool).

Queer (as an adjective, we will not be using the noun here) is not inherently synonymous with gay and lesbian or LGBT.1

Many LGBT people do not like or choose to use queer and/or feel it to represent something additional or instead of gay and lesbian or LGBT.

Because queer was originally a slur and not all LGBT people like to use it,2 it's generally best that straight people don't use the word unless talking about people and groups that self-identify as queer.

Queer can be considered a non-assimilationist word. Some LGBT people who are not interested in getting equal rights by proving we're just like straight people prefer the term. (This is like when I rant about how "I'm queer and you can tell and I like it that way.")

Some non-trans people who are gender non-conforming use the term or variations there of (i.e., genderqueer).

Some trans people who are additionally not straight use the term as a shorthand way of encompassing multiple identities.

Some people who would traditionally be called "bisexual" use the term to avoid the reinforcement of a binary gender dichotomy.

Some people prefer queer because it removes the separation between men and women in the LGBT community, breaks down barriers between bisexual and other orientation identities, and can be more inclusive of the T part of the LGBT (which often gets pushed aside, because oppressed groups can be crappy to each other too).

Others like it because it's only one syllable.

Additionally queer is sometimes used to encompass kink, polyamorous and other non-traditional relationship styles in a way that may or may not be related to LGBT individuals depending on the community.3

As usual, I don't speak for all LGBT or queer people, just myself and my experience of our communities. If you have questions or more to add, consider the comments a free for all. I'm particularly interested in other people's sense and connotations for the word as ongoing discussion in the original thread is revealing that they are highly varied.




1 A commenter reminds me that LGBT is just not enough these days, nor is LGBTQ, which you'll also often see. The full acronym these days often includes not just LGBT, but Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual and more.
2 It's also just been brought to my attention that age may be a factor in how one reacts to queer so this PSA might seem more or less peculiar to you depending on your age.
3 Please see comments for additional discussion of this as there is disagreement on this one. It is problematic for many, and I tend to agree, although the arguments for its inclusion in queer also make a lot of sense.

ETA: Please read the comments. This is such an awesome display of diverse identities, respectful discussion about fraught issues and random people making friends I can't quite get over it. I am loving the LJ today.

Date: 2010-06-19 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicoli-dominn.livejournal.com
Yup, we definitely need to have an easier/more inclusive acronym.

I definitely have my issues with the word "queer," although I do use it from time to time when describing my gender identity. Mostly, my usage of the word depends on the receptiveness or relative understanding of "queer" culture/identity of those to whom I speak. I try to choose my words more carefully around those who possess a larger dictionary of queer-related terminology, but generalize a little more around those who maybe know of a few LGBTQQIA* people, those people being the extent of their knowledge of what it means not to be somehow sex- or gender-normative. For example, I use the word "bisexual" around people who still have that awful habit of saying something is gay when they really mean that they don't like it; on the other hand, I would describe myself as "pansexual" to a person who spends a considerable amount of time thinking about concepts of non-normative identity and sexuality. That's also just a part of who I am, though: I tend to adapt my behavior to fit whatever social setting I'm in at the time, whereas many people would consider that approach to be inauthentic. I often question it as well because I'm often doing it without being fully aware of myself.

But anyway...

Date: 2010-06-19 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicoli-dominn.livejournal.com
Actually, I should amend this comment because I neglected to mention that I don't feel I should be described with labels alone. Nor should anyone else, for that matter. It's just unfortunately, labels are sometimes necessary when talking to people who have issues with abstract thought.

Date: 2010-06-19 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonlady7.livejournal.com
Before I started saying "Queer", and when I first realized that "bisexual" in current usage was really not at all what I meant, I used to just say, "Well, my thing is that my primary selecting factor in mates isn't genitalia, as I'm far more interested in the rest of them," but that was too many words, so I just say "queer" now. It's not that I think people should have labels, any more than I used to; I'm just less interested in hearing about people's details anymore and don't expect people to be that interested in mine.
Having a succinct way of putting it besides the rather rude "mind your own fucking business and I'll fuck mine" is nice, as while I still don't care about being nice to be nice, I do understand that being nice is, well, nice. And I'm too tired and old to always be arguing. But not tired and old enough to let people assume that I am part of their great silent theoretical moral majority. No thank you!

Date: 2010-06-19 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nicoli-dominn.livejournal.com
Perhaps you've noticed that I am afflicted with the particular illness that compels me to express myself in far too many words. :-) It's good that you are far more succinct.

The other thing about labels, about which I am not fond, is the fact that I never feel that any of them truly sum me up. I also explain myself far more than is needed, and I have developed a habit of being way too honest. I'm "TMI Dude." Others, like yourself, require little explanation from either end. What I fear is that when I use any one term to describe myself, the other person or people will attach to that term all of their personal expectations, not all of which may be accurate.

However, if someone is rude to me regarding my sexual or gender identity, I'll be as blunt as I can, if only so I can show them that I don't have patience for their bigotry.

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