sundries

[rm]

Ho, ho, Chicago vacation approved, which means when Patty and I are in Chicago, I'm actually off the clock, as opposed to working from the hotel and calling in sick to go to a wedding.

Sleeping with the eye-mask is life-changing. Like, when I found out I had celiac disease and stopped eating gluten life-changing. I've always had very bright bedrooms. And now, suddenly I dream, or at least remember them. Oh.

Fun at graduate_maria continues. More items going up tonight! And I'll do a listing of things with one and no bids tomorrow. Check it out, she still really needs our help. Right now we've given her some hope, but the problem really is not solved.

kyburg posts about a legal immigrant who may be deported because of a paperwork snafu and needs a whole lot of help.

So, German with Rosetta Stone continues.

I worry about my ability to retain information. The lessons last night were mostly easy (and I did all of them, pictures, just spoken, practicing my own pronunciation, writing), but then when I tried to tell Patty about them later, I could explain the grammar things I'd figured out (how "ein Junge" seems to become "einem Jungen" when something happens to the boy and how it looks like "ein Madchen" even though you'd think "girl" would be feminine, because kids are gender neutral and therefore default to masculine), but couldn't remember the word for horse or airplane. Although when I woke up this morning I had those back ("ein Pferd" and "ein Flugzeug").

Meanwhile, my pronunciation is way better than my French, right off. I think both because I hear a lot of German and because the sounds I have to make in German are less "bad sounds you are not to make" in terms of English language speech therapy my accent is not terrible. But I'm still sure, probably in a way that's not helping, that I'll never be able to speak the language because I'll always be too ashamed.

As noted last night, the Prop 8 ruling is coming down today. As noted in the comments to that post, it's also quite unlikely that that's the end of this, or will make any marriages start happening again immediately.

I think, sometimes, because LJ can often be an echo-chamber of those we more or less agree with, how fucking hard it is to be gay. It's not just "oh, the laws suck and haven't caught up with reality yet." I have at least two people on my friendslist with profoundly strained relationships with their parents because they are in queer relationships. And I don't mean strained like "but what about grandkids?" I mean strained like making threats, demanding lies, gender-policing, shame, bullying, removal of resources, isolating from friends and family, other abusive behaviors, etc.

And here I am, out and loud and very much not much one for bullshit, but a week doesn't go by where I don't think to myself that when my mother had me in her mid-twenties I bet she never thought her life would look like this: breast cancer and a gay daughter. My parents aren't even mad or disappointed in me, but all I know from living in the world is that I've probably made them sad.

So, do I hate how much of the LGBTQ rights debate has come to rest on marriage when everything form healthcare to employment to housing can be denied to you simply because you're queer? Ayup. In spite of this, does the marketing person in me think the equal marriage rights issue is sensible from a PR perspective and a potential cascade from which all other rights will come? Ayup. Do I remain deeply conflicted because of the way the necessity of mainstream political activism combined with the AIDS crisis basically destroyed and remade the gay community in a totally different image (in your image, straight world, not ours) in just a few decades? Yeah.

But what's done is done, and hopefully soon we can simply live.

(This rant brought to you, in part, by having to explain the AIDS crisis to someone yesterday. I'll take being too young to remember when cashiers were afraid to take your money if you were male and read as gay because there might be AIDS on the dollar bill and people thought you could get it off toilet seats. But "I'm sheltered"? History is not an R-rated movie, and Wikipedia is a totally appropriate starting place but not a primary source. Thanks.)

The downtown mosque has been approved. Racist assholes are still freaking out though. And what the fuck was with the ADL weighing in on this one? And did people miss the part where us Jews aren't the only Semetic people out there? Argh argh argh.

Meanwhile, The New York Times points out of the obvious by saying the labor market is punishing to women. Then, of course, being the New York Times, it comes up with winners like, "Men and women are not identical, of course. Many more women take time off from work. Many more women work part time at some point in their careers. Many more women can’t get to work early or stay late," as if these are all biologically based facts.

Really, I'm starting to even wonder why I read the Times, and that's hard for me to say, as a native New Yorker, an educated person, and a J-school alum.

The Tea Party and 'historical fundamentalism.' (Sometimes this is saying you need to be subscriber, sometimes it isn't - apologies for their annoyingness).

Free-range lawn care and goat rental.

The Piano that Lives in the Hall now has a damaged microscope on it.

I know more things about my tentative Dragon*Con schedule. I've already hit one major conflict. If neither of the panels gets moved by the master scheduler, I'll be pulling off of one of my YA Lit track items (I'll be on others!) in order to give my mourning-related presentation at 8:30pm on Friday on the Anime/Manga track. That is some primetime loveliness. More when I know it, because depsite my typing this, I know nothing.

I completely regret ever linking to that thing about Tom Hardy and whether or not he's had sex with men, since it's keeps changing and won't go away. This is hopefully, yet surely not, the last word on that.

I have read two really good Big Bang fics for the Whoniverse in the last couple of days. I must note, however, that military don't call women "Mum." You're just hearing "Ma'am" in an accent that's unfamiliar to you and you're writing it down wrong. It's a very distracting wrong too. So, you know, FYI. And yes, really, I'm sure.

Confession, I didn't pay enough attention really to White Collar or Covert Affairs last night because Patty had just come home and I was multitasking other things, so I'll need to rewatch both shows.

It occurs to me that part of the problem with the slowly emerging Jack/Auggie fic is we're getting so much new backstory on Auggie every week that I still feel like I am in the middle of a rapidly shifting landscape. But how great was the lie detector scene???? "I have four older brothers, so you'd think I'd learn how to lie." Oh man. Also, still so Jack's type -- tragic past, stubborn beyond what's good for him, thinks he knows better than the folks in charge, keeper of secrets, nice clothes. Also, how much does this CIA remind you of Yvonne Hartman's Torchwood?

Comments

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

Do I remain deeply conflicted because of the way the necessity of mainstream political activism combined with the AIDS crisis basically destroyed and remade [something?] in a totally different image (in your image, straight world, not ours) in just a few decades?

Um, not nitpicking, honest - I think you have a word missing there, and because I feel that what you're saying is important, I want to make sure I have all of it.

[rm.livejournal.com]

It was three words, and now it's fixed. Thank you.

I am not sure people realize that I do not compose these things or ponder them. I just type stuff into LJ and then fix later. Which is a little weird for how much I write, and sometimes, for the style in which I write, but these aren't planned really. Even the long, essay-ish ones.

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

RE: how hard it is to be gay.

I am not gay ("Straight but not narrow" is my motto), so maybe I don't get to really have much of a say about this, but I was brought up by my mom and dad with a strong sense for HUMAN rights, regardless of who the human was. I was raised in a VERY Irish Catholic family, and I had an uncle who was gay (and not closeted... I mean "queer-as-a-three-dollar-bill" gay!). And while he wasn't always understood by his family (oh, BOY, was he not understood), he was always accepted and loved. And I think that maybe that's the important part... we can't always understand each other (we're only human, after all), but as long as we can accept each other, we can move forward.

Of course, I also have a friend who, when he came out to his family years ago, his father attempted to shoot him dead. Yes, you read that right... shoot him, with a gun, right there in his home. So we probably still have a long way to go. But I hold out hope that we'll get there, one day.

I hope I'm not wrong.

[melebeth]

Yeah, I was wondering about the ADL involvement too, after listening to the news last night.

I found myself somewhat shocked with my fervor as I said "You go, Mike Bloomberg!" at the radio.

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

Yeah - when I have time, I usually end up reading your posts a couple of times to make sure I haven't missed something fun or vital.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

china_shop made a great point about last night's White Collar, "By the Book": Neal wants Peter's pen. Yeah, that's not a euphemism AT ALL! I enjoyed the ep because it was Mozzie-centric and bibliophilic, plus the guest star was a regular on Numb3rs.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Of course, I also have a friend who, when he came out to his family years ago, his father attempted to shoot him dead. Yes, you read that right... shoot him, with a gun, right there in his home.

See, as a straight person, you have the privilege of being surprised by this. I don't. That's, sadly, the different right there.

[hoyland54.livejournal.com]

It's actually das Mädchen. It's neuter because it's a diminutive (of die Magd, which I think has largely fallen out of use--I only learned it because of Mädchen).

Junge is only itself declining (rather than the article declining) because it's a weak masculine noun. That seems like it would be reason for Rosetta Stone to avoid it very early on, but clearly not.

/stops talking about German

[rm.livejournal.com]

Totally caught the pen thing. At this point they're just like "Here, fandom. ARE WE KEEPING YOU HAPPY?" Which is both cool and amusing, but also gives me a lot of feelings about queer fetishization, the sketchy relationship between creators and audiences in American media, and what's supposed to be enough for the actual queer people in the audience.

[rm.livejournal.com]

It was showing me "ein Madchen" on the program last night (and I can render the accent on the a on this keyboard, although I know it's there).

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

Excuse me if this is too do-my-homeworkish, but I've wondered how gay marriage got to be a prime issue. I'm not saying it was a bad choice, but it doesn't seem like an obviously good one, either.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Part of it comes out of the AIDS crisis. People were dying. And we couldn't visit our partners in the hospital. Or inherit the homes we'd lived in for 30 years. Marriage solves those two problems and over a thousand others.

On the other hand, from the image perspective, it says "we're just like you, we're harmless, we're monogamous; we're not about sex we're about mortgages." It's been an effort to make queer people seem non-threatening. From a marketing standpoint, I get it. I might even advise it. But as a queer person, it makes me a big aggravated. Because I am Not Just Like You. And I shouldn't have to be to be treated like a human being.

[hoyland54.livejournal.com]

Sorry, that wasn't the clearest comment ever. das is the definite article and ein is the indefinite article. The indefinite articles for masculine and neuter nouns overlap, which is what's making Mädchen appear masculine.

(The convention for writing umlauts when you can't type them is to follow the vowel with an 'e': ae=ä, oe=ö, ue=ü.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Awesome, thank you, that piece of grammar information, while, against the Way Rosetta Stone works, helps my brain, since I have enough grammars from other languages that I'm trying to make this fit those.

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

Point, sadly, taken.

I feel like I have more to say on this topic, but I need to organize my thoughts more. Otherwise, I know damned well that I'm going to say the absolutely WRONG thing. :-\

[rm.livejournal.com]

It's okay. I'm not angry, but it was like "OH, HAI THERE, EXAMPLE."

[rm.livejournal.com]

This. All of this.

[emyrldlady.livejournal.com]

Years ago I started sleeping with an eye mask. It really is life changing. You get it now when people talk about a full night's rest.

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

This is generally my method as well. Sometimes I might have a stray thought that I have pondered and/or a "line", but I'm pretty much flying by the seat of my pants when I write.

[hoyland54.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

I'm afraid I'm very structure-oriented when it comes to languages, so my reaction to things like Rosetta Stone (or my French class) is to want to wave my arms about shouting "There's a system and you're intentionally obscuring it!"

[sykii.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have to say that as someone who's studied Latin and Greek, you've got resources that aren't used by something like Rosetta Stone.
My advice would be to do a lesson and then look up the grammar somewhere. Even if it doesn't all fit with things you've learned in other languages, having dealt with patterns and paradigms before, what you do understand should help put things into context.
I did this all the time in first year German because my professor had very specific ideas about how much grammar information we could/should deal with, but not knowing how it fit into the larger grammatical and syntactic structures of the language made me NUTS.
If you ever want to have a conversation about maidens and dogs and pastries and what time it is, let me know. My German is getting rusty and I'd like it not to.

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

Hugh and I have actually had this VERY same discussion re: race and my responses to things as a black person and that moment there you just described? I've had it too. Different issue...same response.

Sorry to hijack the topic, but this is to say that I both grok and I don't if that makes any sense at all.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Oh cool, yeah, I mean, all I can say right now is that "a boy is on the airplane" and "a cat and a car!" but yeah.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

Yes! Thank you; this is what I just tried to articulate below.
Maybe some people learn to navigate systems best by being told "Do this. Don't worry about why," but I am not that person, and nor, I'm pretty sure, is rm.

[yarram.livejournal.com]

The WSJ Tea-Party article you link to is subscriber-only. :-(