sundries

[rm]

Patty and I had a lovely outside dinner last night, but then stayed up too late because work caught up with me. Boo.

Today my face hurts in a massive, horrible sinus way.

I posted my Dragon*Con schedule last night!

We're expecting a lovely fucking hurricane over the weekend that should make Dragon*Con related travel slightly annoying.

Dragon*Con people, there's a fake Irish pub near the hotels that has video trivia and tends to be Not Fucking Annoying on Thursday night. But I can only recall its location by sight in my head. This does not help me tell other people where it is or what it is called. Anyone?

Rather unexpectedly, won writerinadrawer Round 4. If you weren't following along, do go back and read the stories. Many, many people turned in at least one that was some of their best work, and I'm pretty sure we all embarrassed ourselves at least once (I feel like I can count at least four on that score (the embarrassment score) for me). In the end (and arguably through the whole thing, since exercises like this are weird), it certainly didn't come down to quality, but what happened to be to the tastes of whoever was voting in a given week. Also, while I could often tell who wrote what, I pegged something for cruentum that I still can't believe was misswinterhill a few rounds back, so that sort of wacky surprise was fun, but since everything is revealed now, a bit too late for you. Anyway, everyone, and most especially our host, thefannishwaldo, deserves a round of applause for Getting Through This Thing. I found this _much_ harder work than therealljidol.

30 mosques in 30 days.

Ad campaign to counteract anti-Muslim sentiment.

Extreme Dog Grooming.

Plato's pop-culture problem and ours.

The politics of "ma'am" I about fell over laughing at "Because it amuses me."

The Advocate has a point. As more conservative Republicans call for same-sex marriage, what does Obama achieve by opposing it? The people that wouldn't vote for him over this issue, already wouldn't vote for him. Right?

Interesting-and-a-half that pressure for marriage equality in Australia is now coming from a Tasmanian independent.

Are you fucking kidding me? Emergency message about crashing into the sea played to passengers by mistake. Mercury retrograde, we are done!

Comments

[idunn.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, what do you call strangers whose names you don't know? Because all I'm familiar with is "Ma'am/Sir" and frankly, without them I'm at a loss. I'm shocked it bothers people, but I don't know what else to use if not that, and I don't want to say "Hey, you".

[billijean.livejournal.com]

I will use Ma'am/Sir if other efforts fail. But I really try to avoid it. Besides that it is a loaded thing for some people, it is possible to get it wrong. My son, for example, has long hair. He is 14 and there is little about him that says "girl".But people here call him Ma'am ALL the time. Some don't look past the hair and say ma'am. Others, see plainly that he is a boy, but cannot make the word Sir come out of their mouths. Some people's faces contort and everything as they struggle with what they're seeing. About 5% will call him Sir. Most of the rest call him Ma'am, even when they know he's a boy and some just don't say anything.

Compared to home (Canada), this is much more extreme. But it happened there too.

So, I will generally interject with 'excuse me', or 'pardon me', very briefly touching an arm if necessary and then flatly state that I don't remember / never knew your name. That way, people can choose how they'd like to be addressed. I also ask people how they'd like my children to address them because it may different from how they'd like me to address them.

But there are cases where I don't see alternatives to sir/madam. For example, getting someone's attention across a distance or more quickly than travelling to the person in question. Then calling, "Sir?" or "Ma'am?" seems to be the only other option. but I've gotten it wrong before, and I've been unsure before. And I really don't know what to do then. Here in India, there is very little risk of getting it wrong. Gender roles and appearances are well defined, even painfully defined. One is either obviously a Sir or obviously a Ma'am and there is usually nothing anyone can do about it.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I had to build "ma'am/sir" back into my lexicon while living in the American South. Until then, I generally spoke in ways that avoided having to use anything like that.

"Excuse me." "Thank you." "How are you?"

I remember suddenly stepping through to the "Miss Firstname" zone, and at the time, instructing my then-pre-speech infant to greet various other "Miss So&So"'s. That was wasn't so bad, as it was just part of someone's name. The Ma'am/Sir thing I had to work to remember, and sometimes did it awkwardly.

[rm.livejournal.com]

The "Miss firstname" thing totally wigs me out. Up here, for me, it evokes really old, really wealthy people and how they address their (usually PoC) servants.

[100wordspermin.livejournal.com]

Fascinating. I'm a native southerner and Miss Firstname was what we called the female neighbors and my mom's friends * acquaintances when I was a kid. Now that I'm an adult, it's what a lot of my teenage tutoring students call me. (I'm about 10-12 years older than most of said students, so I'm definitely not yet elderly).

Btw, being called Miss Firstname has nothing to do with one's marital status, so I like that aspect of it.

When I met one of my classmates' (not from the south) children, she insisted that they call me Mrs. Lastname, and that took a bit of getting used to, though I understood it was meant as a sign of respect.

I'm trying to imagine getting yelled at for using "sir" or "ma'am," since usually, when I was growing up, it was getting yelled at for NOT using them.

[100wordspermin.livejournal.com]

Um, that should be "my mom's friends & acquaintances."

Me no can type today, apparently.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Amazing how these things vary. I'm more familiar with the "address the servants by either first or last name, no honorific" style. In SoCal, the domestic help is referred to by first name, and the patrona often as "Miz Lasatname". No ma'am-ing, though.

There's definitely a racial vibe under where it gets used, and who's comfortable with it. In the South, the fact that I merited Miss Firstname was a sign of inclusion amongst the genteel set of mamas. I didn't have much opportunity to test that pre-motherhood, so I don't know how that would have worked out.

[idunn.livejournal.com]

I was addressed that way at age 19 by my class of toddlers (I worked in a daycare in New Jersey). SO WEIRD.

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

Icon love!

[idunn.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Check out jillicons - she's got faaaaabulous stuff, especially if you like weird things, or brilliant colour.