sundries

[rm]

Patty has finished her comps. Yay!

I will try to finish my Dragon*Con panel roundups this weekend. Particular apologies to the people from the Alternative Regencies panel that are still waiting.

news has been updated and the ability to cross-post comments to other sites from locked posts will be removed with the next code push (that's two weeks away).

The ability to turn off-cross posting from one's own journal for anyone commenting on public entries does not seem to be something that will be implemented at this time. For me, it's a non-issue, but for people who have their journal set not to be included in search engines and really thought no one outside of LJ would ever see their stuff, it's a shock. While it's not my concern or how I interact with information, people who feel differently than me are still entitled to feel that way.

Additionally, there is some noise about LJ staff with sock-puppet accounts trolling and being abusive on the news threads. To be frank (har, har), this punches my buttons so hard, I'm not actually looking at or investigating this one beyond a couple of links I've already checked about it.

For now, I remain here, as this is where my community is. Eventually, I will probably migrate to a non-LJ, non-Dreamwidth set-up under my own domain, by am way too busy to worry about that now.

My experience of working for multiple social media companies over the years is that it is an inevitability that these corporations have profound contempt for their users; the question, really, is only whether you find out about it. Ultimately, the LJ tool serves me far more than random employees bullying the user base serves them. Which is to say, for me, and my current levels of not giving a shit, that while enraged, I come out in the win column. Today, I have other battles to fight.

This is a post about sexual assault and harassment at Dragon*Con. I had no bad experiences this year, but did think things seemed more volatile and confrontational and I'm sadly not surprised that there is a lot of speaking out about this problem this year (which is an unfortunately inevitable problem at any large event -- Dragon*Con weekend involves the intersection of at least three large events). I did, however, have an incident of physical intimidation and harassment the prior year, which involved other con-goers, and I made the mistake of not reporting it to security because I was fine and in a hurry; unfortunately, being lax the way I was allows predators to get away with their behavior, and escalate it. Discussion is obviously triggery, but if you have something to report or something to contribute about ways to make the event safer, please stop by.

A lot of noise is being made about Citibank HR's list of things women do that hamper their ability to get ahead in the workplace. Playing fair, asking permission and apologizing, are, particularly the three people are finding most outrageous, and, taken to their logical extreme, that outrage, especially after the financial crisis of the last several years, is deeply reasonable. However, the list (which Citibank HR sources from a book) also has a point.

1. Let's start with apologizing in the workplace. Rightly or wrongly, it's viewed as an act of submission. Saying "this happened on my watch, and this is what I've done to fix the problem" still takes responsibility, but is seen as proactive. Saying "I'm sorry," says you're wasting valuable company time waiting for someone to punish you.

2. If you ever worked for a dot.com you probably heard "Ask forgiveness, not permission" more times than you can count. Lord knows, the phrase practically makes me want to vomit at this point, but the reality is corporations want shit done and shit done fast. This isn't about breaking the rules; that (despite being a part of many corporate cultures, particularly in the financial industry) actually sucks and is something that needs to be addressed. This is about wasting time getting approval to do what you've already been hired to do (they hired you, because they trust your brain) -- take initiave, innovate, and solve problems.

3. Okay, the "playing fair" one sounds extra-sketchy, I admit, and like the "asking permission" one certainly touches on toxic, problematic aspects of corporate cultures. But if you wait until everyone else speaks, if you always defer to the senior person in the room, if you never interrupt anyone, if you believe excelling in something that we're supposed to take turns in, you're going to get steam-rolled. Don't be a dick, don't sabotage people, but seriously, don't wait your damn turn either. This would be better phrased as "do play hard" instead of "don't play fair."

Overall, however, the tone of the list is, of course, deeply, deeply insulting. Women aren't naive or children and Citibank is shooting itself in the foot in more ways than one if they think so. But many woman have received significant conscious and unconscious cultural training to behave in ways that can be perceived as that way.

The other significant flaw of this list is that it does not acknowledge the ways in which some behaviors when engaged in by women look different than when engaged in by men. These include things like aggression, the use of smiles and leaning forward in your chair (in a woman it can often look, not assertive, but over-eager).

Tomorrow tickets go on sale for the New York Film Festival. What do I want? And ah, I remember when this was one of _the_ events in New York City. Now, I feel, no one cares, it's all about the Tribeca Film Festival now. Which is a great thing for New York, but man, brings out the wannabe director douchebags like nobody's business.

I know Karl Lagerfeld routinely says things that offend many of us, but he's still an object of fascination for me. Apparently, I'm not alone.

A robot called Girlzilla.

You must remember this: Muslims and Islam were a part of life at the WTC.

The Twin Towers came down in September 2001; I went to Australia in January 2005. Guess which event feels more recent? That, right there, is my personal problem with the eternal-9/11 culture.

A piece of 9/11-related art I love: Wish You Were Here.

Another piece of 9/11-related art I love: I'm Falling for You. (note, this one offends the fuck out of a lot of people).

Two things I've written about 9/11:
America (written right when I came home from Australia)
untitled (written last year)

If you need a big dose of Where Were You When, I recommend the #wherewereyou tag on Twitter.

Finally, if you're going to hate someone or a group of someones, do it in your own name, not that of Jesus or Allah or the children or New York City or patriots or whatever is on your list today. Yeah?

On a cheerier note, fuck everything, here's some more zebra footage: Actually, otters (listen with sound and thank Patty) and turtles eating things!

And, sneaking a meme in here at the end: post a picture of you as you are, right now -- don't fix your hair, reach for the coverup or get out the Photoshop.

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

We do call it Shittybank for a reason.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Taking out the gender piece, it's strange for me to think that corporate culture works this way. I keep looking at it and frowning because as a supervisor, I'm not going to promote someone who's a dick to his or her work cohort. When I catch somebody weaseling out of/around rules, I'll nail that person for it. I discipline them, not reward them. Granted, a lot of the rules where I work are about confidentiality and safety, but still.

The directness and assertiveness pieces are good and useful for anyone, but a lot of that advice seems really destructive in ways that promote actively toxic work relationships.

[rm.livejournal.com]

To me, it's toxic seeming because it doesn't explain what the positive behaviors are, which are (as I hope I pointed out when I took it apart) not lying and cheating, but not wasting time, being proactive, fixing your own messes, etc.

As a supervisor, I don't have day-to-day time to manage people feeling bad because they fucked up or aren't self-confident over little shit. It is my job to foster an environment where someone can come to me and say, "here's the shit I'm struggling with thematically, and here's a project I feel stuck on, can we talk this through and find a solution?"

I've literally had people come in and say sorry and hang their head (and I've done that shit too) and what the hell am I supposed to do with that that's workplace appropriate?

Of course, I work in a fast-paced industry and to be frank and funny (and as you know, as we've talked about this related to everything that went down with fencing), harbor a lot of the same leadership flaws as Jack. But the list, while poorly written to get good results and a positive workplace environment, seems right on to me.

[deslea.livejournal.com]

To me, it's toxic seeming because it doesn't explain what the positive behaviors are

I sort of see what you're getting at. I guess to me, that card assumes you're an otherwise constructive employee who is derailing herself unnecessarily. It's not trying to address a bad worker IMO.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think the card makes sense to functional people in traditional workplaces. I think for people who work in non-profits or academia or small companies where the rules might be different or who don't have a lot of work experience, it all looks really evil.

[deslea.livejournal.com]

Definitely. And I certainly didn't do the hardcore thing when I worked non-profit. Like you say, different sandboxes. It's all about understanding the rules of your environment and adapting. And it's good leadership. We're supposed to be agile - that's how the organisation stays agile. How am I supposed to tell my people to be responsive to their stakeholders if I, or they, can't even be responsive to our environment?

Using my Sarah Connor Chronicles Corporate Robot icon, because I think Catherine Weaver would approve of this thread. ;)

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Exactly. As written this doesn't give individuals advice on cultivating better habits. It just adds more entries onto an already long list of possible sins.

Re: efficiency, I think we're maybe on the same coin with this. The ethic where I work is that when you start, we want you to ask for a little while. After a bit, though, we expect folks to go ahead because we trust that they're competent. At that point, a mistake now and again usually isn't the end of the world, but that's because there's trust that if something deeply crazy comes up, that person is trained well enough to know when to ask, you know?

Also, I'm abstaining from making any humorous statements on Jack's management style. ;)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Also, I'm abstaining from making any humorous statements on Jack's management style. ;)

Yeah, thanks for that. Although, to be frank I could use the distraction (wow, that sounded terrible and Jack-like and not what I meant).

I'm having another wave of shit about my personal ambition that's entirely predictable both because 'tis the season and because recent synchronicities have me in a _wave_ of guilt about, you know, finally getting more than six hours of sleep last night. Man, I'm out of my damn mind.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Sleep is mission critical. No guilt for you.

As for distraction, Sam's WC/DW crossover is tangy like The Time Traveler's Wife, but without all the crying. If you've already seen that, I'll have to go digging after I clean the kitchen...

[rm.livejournal.com]

I haven't read it yet, maybe tonight, although Patty and I are looking forward to actually functioning and spending time together tonight (also, I must do laundry).

The whole Paley Center thing has me off on a tear of personal brutality. I feel like I do nothing, all the time, and I think everyone I know is like, "you met the quota for your existence years ago, calm the fuck down."

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Indeed, you have absolutely met that quota. Plus, you do laundry! This is more than many people do. OTOH, I understand that sense of still not having done enough even when people are like, "Look at how badass you are!"

Maybe some Patty time will help?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Patty always helps. Also, we haven't had time to decompress with each other really, because of comps, so there's probably a lot of crap in my brain this week I haven't been able to shelve.

[deslea.livejournal.com]

I didn't read the "play fair" thing that way - I didn't read it that either Citibank or the original book was advising women not to be ethical. I read it as "fair" in terms of playing by the office rules (ie, conventions), not the moral rules.

For instance, I work in an environment with prescriptive pay points. You can get a bonus or an early pay point, but you need a damn good reason, your bosses' support, and a written business case that is reviewed by a committee. Guess how many people ask? Not many. I do.

Another convention in my workplace is that executives get hour-for-hour flexitime off, on paper, but in reality there is pressure not to take it. To which I say "I don't think so." That time is part of my agreed package when I joined. I work hard, I deliver, and I play hard, and damn if I'm forfeiting my time. And I'm not going to ask for it or apologise for it, either (as the card says, I just inform them that I'm taking it).

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Aha. I think I get where you're coming from here. I think in my case my bar for ethics and my bar for fair are generally set very close to one another, and when convention is set far from either of them, I tend to gravitate toward others who'd either agitate a little in favor of change, or with whom I can be mutually supportive in flouting convention. :)

Mostly, I just sort of wince at it because it seems to imply that one can't both be above board and effective at Citibank, which isn't a selling point for me.

[deslea.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can definitely see how it would read that way. And it's easy for me to be all, "Yeah, but it's okay incontext because...", because I have a context with a strong ethical framework enshrined in law. Not necessarily the case in Citibank.

[dsmoen.livejournal.com]

I've been getting robo calls from them. For the first time, I was home when it happened.

Now, mind, I've been away on an international trip, and they knew that in case I needed to use the card. I'd paid my account (not off, as I'm carrying a low-rate balance transfer), and I haven't been late.

So I answer the call, and the robodialer says my name and the last four of my account, then tries to transfer me to a human. Then says, "We're sorry we can't answer your call." WTF?

So I change the number to my cell (so the calls won't bother anyone else) and send off an incendiary message to customer service. Bah.