sundries

I am still dealing with this headache thing. It is getting better and seems to be both a sinus headache (since there's a spot if I press near my temple it hurts, but don't look that up on the Internet or it will tell you, you are dying) and a tension headache caused by my utterly destroyed shoulder muscles, which I think has to do with my desk set up. All of this said, it's impeding my ability to work and making me sort of aggravated.

Tonight Patty and I are going to Tango del Diablo. I could totally get away with wearing my tux to this, but the effort and physical restriction, especially in light of the state of my head and shoulders mentioned above, seems completely beyond me. Maybe a suit. Hell, maybe a dress because it takes me the least time. I don't know.

Right, so about the refrigerator thing? I am an idiot and not suited for the century. I was turning the knob the wrong way. It's cold again now.

In the realm of Doctor Who tie-in novels, I am currently reading The Stealers of Dreams about a world where lying and fiction is illegal. It's actually freaking me out a little.

We watched another episode of Buffy last night. James Marsters is a great actor because making that speech that ends with him on the cross any type of interesting and moving as opposed to just chaotic and weird took a LOT of effort. Of course, since he's known as the hot guy with the great abs from the trashy genre show, we're never going to get lots of chances to see him really act, and that's a damn shame.

I am getting really excited about Bristol, even though I still have to make my train reservations and my hotel reservations for Bristol itself. Of course, everything is fitting together perfectly... without Cardiff, a problem which is still, foolishly, running around in the back of my head. I should just email the Fabulous Welshcakes store and see if I can get them to post me an order to my hotel, which really would solve about 50% of my absurdity. Today's mantras: London has stories too and Even you don't like trains that much. It's helping.

writerinadrawer voting opens later today.

Also on the Buffy front I read this hilariously smart fic by stakebait in which Oz and Ethan Rayne hook-up... at Burning Man.

Tateishi Onojiro, New York City's heartthrob, 1860. Article also contains the wonderful phrase: "New York's preferred tense is the future," although I don't know if I agree with the sentiment.

Apparently, people have decided it's bad for children to have best friends now. I would have suffocated as a kid without mine. I don't like casual conversation now any more than I did then. I would have been miserable attempting to have a set of light connections about nothing in particular. The article suggests that it's about teaching kids not to be so possessive of their friends, but I remember how much my parents hated how close I was to my best friends, and to me I can't help but think this is another way for a certain stripe of today's super-clingy parents to keep their child theirs for longer.

Meanwhile, the doctors vs. midwives thing here is ongoing, and let's be clear, about misogyny and the medicalization of femaleness.

That gay-themed French McDonald's ad continues to stir things up as the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce drops its relationship with McDonald's due to the company's Chief of Operations' comments about how such an ad would never be shown in the US due to cultural differences.

A brief, odd geographic note about the clitoral surgery links from yesterday: While Cornell University is mostly located in Ithaca, these events are related to the affiliated Cornell University Medical Center, which is located on the Upper East Side in New York City.

PSA: Queer

(This is an outgrowth of a comment thread I'm having with someone in their journal. If that someone is you, no worries, we're cool).

Queer (as an adjective, we will not be using the noun here) is not inherently synonymous with gay and lesbian or LGBT.¹

Many LGBT people do not like or choose to use queer and/or feel it to represent something additional or instead of gay and lesbian or LGBT.

Because queer was originally a slur and not all LGBT people like to use it,² it's generally best that straight people don't use the word unless talking about people and groups that self-identify as queer.

Queer can be considered a non-assimilationist word. Some LGBT people who are not interested in getting equal rights by proving we're just like straight people prefer the term. (This is like when I rant about how "I'm queer and you can tell and I like it that way.")

Some non-trans people who are gender non-conforming use the term or variations there of (i.e., genderqueer).

Some trans people who are additionally not straight use the term as a shorthand way of encompassing multiple identities.

Some people who would traditionally be called "bisexual" use the term to avoid the reinforcement of a binary gender dichotomy.

Some people prefer queer because it removes the separation between men and women in the LGBT community, breaks down barriers between bisexual and other orientation identities, and can be more inclusive of the T part of the LGBT (which often gets pushed aside, because oppressed groups can be crappy to each other too).

Others like it because it's only one syllable.

Additionally queer is sometimes used to encompass kink, polyamorous and other non-traditional relationship styles in a way that may or may not be related to LGBT individuals depending on the community.³

As usual, I don't speak for all LGBT or queer people, just myself and my experience of our communities. If you have questions or more to add, consider the comments a free for all. I'm particularly interested in other people's sense and connotations for the word as ongoing discussion in the original thread is revealing that they are highly varied.

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¹ A commenter reminds me that LGBT is just not enough these days, nor is LGBTQ, which you'll also often see. The full acronym these days often includes not just LGBT, but Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual and more.
² It's also just been brought to my attention that age may be a factor in how one reacts to queer so this PSA might seem more or less peculiar to you depending on your age.
³ Please see comments for additional discussion of this as there is disagreement on this one. It is problematic for many, and I tend to agree, although the arguments for its inclusion in queer also make a lot of sense.

ETA: Please read the comments. This is such an awesome display of diverse identities, respectful discussion about fraught issues and random people making friends I can't quite get over it. I am loving the LJ today.