Glee rant about queer teens and PDAs, again

[rm]

People,

As much as I, too, would like to think Kurt and Blaine kissed in that hall, at that moment:

- Blaine is still freaked out because when he last tried to go to a dance with another guy he got the crap beat out of him
- Kurt has just realized that things at McKinley are as bad as they ever were.
- The school is NOT a safe space, especially when the rest of it is empty -- what seems to give them privacy also puts them at risk if they run into someone else who might be feeling violent.


I cannot emphasize enough how complicated PDAs are for gay teens and gay people in general. I cannot emphasize enough that even though things may seem, and even be, perfectly safe they won't necessarily feel that way to people because of their own experiences with violence or being warned about violence or whatever.

I am 38-years-old. I live in New York City. I have let go of same-sex lovers' hands in public places within the last ten years when I wasn't entirely sure it was safe for us to be holding hands because I didn't know the neighborhood or it was late at night and drunk people make me more wary or whatever. And dudes, New York Fucking City, not a high school in Lima, Ohio.

This is huge mileage may vary territory for everyone. I'm totally okay with your "they kissed in the hall" head-cannon, but really worn out from the "Blaine sucks for not touching Kurt at x, y, or z moment" stuff and the "it's totally safe for them to be kissing!" assumptions and the "it must be evil FOX not giving us more gay kisses" theories.

This is complicated. This is complicated for gay people. This is complicated for US television. It's just complicated.

Please just let it be complicated.

And particularly for my straight readers, please, please, please take a moment to think about what it would be like to always be doing the math and then imagine what it would be like to do that math at 16. When you've already experienced assault. And you have one good thing and you're terrified that if you show affection for that thing in public, it will get it destroyed (and to be extremely fucking clear, by destroyed I mean murdered).

Being out and proud does not stop you from doing the math.

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

Word, I'm actually dying to see that scene again too.

I'm also interested in this Blaine backstory, because I sort of got the impression he was all "Oh, things at my old school weren't as bad for me as they are for you at McKinley" when he first meets Kurt and stuff, and I'm like... Blaine what is going on in your skull?

And yeah, they have such amazing chemistry, it feels completely weird when they are not touching, because it reads awkwardly and like they're expending lots of energy on not touching. Which sucks. But that's what happens. The wanting to touch energy doesn't go away. It just sits there and makes you AWKWARD. I think the show is doing a great job with this (although I think it's on the performances more than the writing that's making that particular issue work), but I think it's like... a lot of straight viewers can see something's wrong there, but can't necessarily see what the wrong thing is... or something?

[shesingsnow.livejournal.com]

I believe there was a line or a scene, when Kurt first met Blaine, where Blaine explained that he knew how difficult things could be but that he was lucky enough to have money to leave and go to Dalton. They never got into Blaine's specific reasons, I think.

[wordplay.livejournal.com]

I think that a lot of people are going to be cranky about it, in part because Ryan Murphy took the Modern Family people to task... last summer, maybe? about the comparative levels of onscreen affection between the different couples in the show. I remember, in the early days of K/Bl, a lot of talk about how that meant Glee would do a better job with this so I think there will be expectations, etc. And, also, frankly: this pairing's fans can be a little reactionary, more so than I'm used to, anyway. Were you around when Brett Burk used the phrase "foam party fags" in a review? It turned into A Thing.

I'm working on a road trip story right now, the final bit to my own college universe, and one of the stops was always going to be Laramie to have a Matthew Shepard moment. From a completely selfish fanwriter perspective, then: what a great bit of character development.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh, i wish your little universe would NEVER end. But excited for new story!

And yeah, I had a self0sh fanwriter moment. Blaine being all weird about Kurt asking him to the prom... so the little (not very competent) adult I've been writing in my college thingy. I felt so vindicated.

[parsnips.livejournal.com]

Jumping into this conversation to say: While much of my Klaine series continues to be totally jossed by actual canon backstory, I still get all giggly every time Blaine's mask slips and he suddenly can't make eye contact for love or money. HOORAY.

[pushplaytobegin.livejournal.com]

The distance and postures pinged my uh-oh, WTF? but not because they weren't touching. It was something about Blaine's affect — flat? tired? cautious? — and the fact that Blaine was sitting on the ground and Kurt was pacing, that dynamic drove me nuts; and Kurt was using "we" language and Blaine was all "What do YOU want?" I'm so grateful for your post, because while it crossed my mind (briefly) "Couldn't Blaine just quickly squeeze his elbow or something?" I didn't think about it too long, because yeah, just too dangerous. It made sense to me that he'd be giving Kurt physical distance... I just couldn't figure out the emotional distance I seemed to get off that scene. I desperately need to read meta. A week's gone by, and I think I've read... three meta posts.

Anyway, preach it. What you said can't be said enough. I forget too often and my head needs thumping.