the real troubles in your life are the type the blindside you on some idle tuesday afternoon

[rm]

A series of fucked up things has just occured in my world, making this Sydney financial situation a nightmare.

I am torn between two worldviews on it -- one of which is that it's not my fault because really my company owes me money for all of November, and if that weren't going on, the other drama that has just ensued would in fact be utterly manageable.

My other worldview of course is that it's all my fault, and that I am irresponsible for taking this trip, and that I should cancel it, and loose the non-refundable thousands of dollars I've already spent.

The thing is -- I won't and can't do that. I brazen everyhting out in the end, and I get by, let's face it with a lot of help from my friends. Maybe I am spoiled, and maybe I am stupid, but there it is.

I won't ask people for donations, because the money is all out there theoretically. But I may be working up the nerve to ask people for loans, which invariably means that some of you will unfriend me and think badly of me, and I care about that too, more than I'd like to admit.

There are a number of footnotes to this story, in the realm of the synchronicity factor in my life.

Additionally, someone is trying to convince me of something that's both deeply irrational, and may be the best idea anyone's ever put in front of me. But it involves having balls the size of this entire damn state.

That's as articulate as I can manage right now.

Comments

[rm.livejournal.com]

And Citibank is involved besides -- although that angle will hopefully sort out with relatively low drama tomorrow -- earliest I'm going to have rent for you in light of that part of it all is friday though, FYI -- very present tense those monkeys.

Thank you for being a voice of sanity in all this.

[ladypeculiar.livejournal.com]

Down, monkey! Bad monkey!