![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmI am sick of news and magazine articles telling me what I want. Or explaining what women really want as if we were some strange animal on national geographic. I can't even bring myself to read the latest instance in the Times, the headline of which seems to indicate, "Well, all the _really_ smart women are totally going to give up their careers for babies."
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html (having skimmed the article, I must say, in all fairness, it isn't that bad, -- as much as any article trying to ascertain if the choices women make make sense can be -- but it does make me crazy that women and their choices must always be examined as if we are "the other" whereas no such public analysis of men really exists outside humour columns).
I think I may be more offended by this than most. Afterall, I went to a school for ten years of my life where I got an astounding education, but knew every single day that it was such only for the sake of finding the best and most extraordinary match possible. I was given absolutely every intellectual challenge possible, so that I could serve men cleverly and then have enough babies to reclaim the feminity so obviously lost by blowing things up in a chemisry lab at age 13. By those standards, everything I do is a waste, and when you look at everything I do, how damnably ridiculous is that?
I am not, for the record, anti-children. I'm actually very fond of them and want them in my life, and very possibly in my home. I've just become self-protective of my body, defensive, strange about claims on me over the years, that I don't think I want to give birth to any (which, I realize I should figure out soon, being 33). I despise them as status symbols though. I despise the way we use them as signifiers for all sorts of attainments. I think it's unfair to so many people on so many subjects and makes parenting to much harder for absolutely everyone.
But is any women ever old enough to avoid being told how to be a good and clever girl? It doesn't seem so, even if we do eventually become old enough to ignore it.
It is worth noting that on the alumni application form for Stuyvesant, they have a blank merely for family, and you write in whatever. On the alumnae applicatoin for my prior school (which I am of course barred from not just symbolically, but in fact, not being a graduate), there is a detailed section for the husband, and then seven blanks to list the names of children. Seven. In New York City. In 2005.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html (having skimmed the article, I must say, in all fairness, it isn't that bad, -- as much as any article trying to ascertain if the choices women make make sense can be -- but it does make me crazy that women and their choices must always be examined as if we are "the other" whereas no such public analysis of men really exists outside humour columns).
I think I may be more offended by this than most. Afterall, I went to a school for ten years of my life where I got an astounding education, but knew every single day that it was such only for the sake of finding the best and most extraordinary match possible. I was given absolutely every intellectual challenge possible, so that I could serve men cleverly and then have enough babies to reclaim the feminity so obviously lost by blowing things up in a chemisry lab at age 13. By those standards, everything I do is a waste, and when you look at everything I do, how damnably ridiculous is that?
I am not, for the record, anti-children. I'm actually very fond of them and want them in my life, and very possibly in my home. I've just become self-protective of my body, defensive, strange about claims on me over the years, that I don't think I want to give birth to any (which, I realize I should figure out soon, being 33). I despise them as status symbols though. I despise the way we use them as signifiers for all sorts of attainments. I think it's unfair to so many people on so many subjects and makes parenting to much harder for absolutely everyone.
But is any women ever old enough to avoid being told how to be a good and clever girl? It doesn't seem so, even if we do eventually become old enough to ignore it.
It is worth noting that on the alumni application form for Stuyvesant, they have a blank merely for family, and you write in whatever. On the alumnae applicatoin for my prior school (which I am of course barred from not just symbolically, but in fact, not being a graduate), there is a detailed section for the husband, and then seven blanks to list the names of children. Seven. In New York City. In 2005.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-20 06:58 pm (UTC)Not as long as there is money to be made off of it. Consider the base sources where the instruction comes from. At the heart of it, someone is trying to sell something, or set them up to buy something. A recent television commercial I saw was yet another make up ad, that ended with the spokewoman who admited she was in her 40's saying " All you 20 somethings, look out ". while men turned to fawn over her.
IMHO , in this society none of us are safe from being told how to be, and what products we must pruchase to achieve it. Women being dreicted to have babies and buy 'age defying' products is no different than men being directed to buy hummers and buy products to replace their hair & get ' 6-pack' abs.
There are many of us who are immune. It's similar to the matrix and being awoken. The sooner you do it the better chances of understanding and being able to function outside of captivity.