sundries

[rm]

Last night I received a brief Facebook note from a woman I attended a dance camp with as a child. It had a lovely cadence to it, that really captured the feeling of the way we are fond of the past, but also sealed off from it -- This must be the only Racheline I ever knew.

It took me a long time to summon up the memory of her -- the face is hazy, possibly mixed with that of another girl, but I remember and outfit of hers, and I'll have to ask about random details of social interactions she may too not remember clearly to be sure of who she is. But if I'm correct, she's the one who got me to read The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. She was terribly worldly, and we were, I guess about 12?

Regardless, I found myself moved by it, but also confronted with an internal awkwardness that is new to me and exists particularly when interacting with people from my childhood. Being told I looked male was a way other girls told me I was ugly growing up -- in largely female circles, as all of my childhood was, this is a common way in which women police each other normativity. I don't recall any such behavior from this woman, nor do I even recall any of it happening in her presence, but I am still left with this visceral feeling of nervousness and instinct to be apologetic or justifying the fact that I'm using a (still need an adjective -- butch? masculine? cross-dressed? androgynous? genderqueer?) photo of me on Facebook right now.

Of course, she probably doesn't care particularly. Her recollection of me was of interest enough that she sent me a note and asked how I was. It's really so simple: all I have to do is respond.

Aphid Attack Action is live. Man, those little fuckers are everywhere. Soapy water. Lots of soapy water.

Meanwhile, one of the little stalks with a tiny tiny pepper snapped off. So we're down to the large growing pepper, and the two tiny peppers that I don't know if they are going to get bigger -- and many many other flowers that could turn into peppers. I suspect the pepper loss is either a lack of sun for the plant to support that much fruit or a bird attack. Gardening is hard.

Lots of emerging tomatoes -- I'll count soon. Also, new buds on the zebra. Hopefully these will be inclined to become tomatoes. The last died before opening, although the plant is very healthy.

Patty and I are seeing the Coraline musical tonight.

Comments

[starkeee.livejournal.com]

We saw the Coraline musical last weekend and thought it was wonderful and imaginative. Hope you enjoy :-)

[blergeatkitty.livejournal.com]

I couldn't get soapy water to do a damn thing to my aphids. Coffee seems to work slightly better for me.

Now if I could only figure out what's wrong with my tomato.

[xtricks.livejournal.com]

You might want to crush up a few eggshells (after washing) and poke them into the soil of your tomatoes (couldn't hurt the peppers either). That will prevent blossom rot - which is calcium deficiency in plants and there's been a lot of it this year, for some reason.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. Thank you!

The last died before opening, although the plant is very healthy.

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

Open it up to check for buggies, but it probably just didn't take.

[aynatonal.livejournal.com]

I know this is very much not to the point, but your Facebook pic is hot like burning.

need an adjective

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

Short haired and dressed for office? And cute as button!

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

Gardening is not hard. Falconry is hard. Once falcon is trained, gardening easy! 8D

an internal awkwardness

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

Meeting any non-relation who knew me any time up to High School,inclusive, would be awkward for me. Because I'm still that awkward child who didn't fit.

Re: an internal awkwardness

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

...same here.

[frodo-esque.livejournal.com]

but I am still left with this visceral feeling of nervousness and instinct to be apologetic or justifying the fact that I'm using a (still need an adjective -- butch? masculine? cross-dressed? androgynous? genderqueer?) photo of me on Facebook right now.

Probably a holdover from your past, being ashamed of who you are because those on the outside shamed you for it. I'm sorry you had to go through that only becasue you're still plagued with the intrinsic urge to apologize for it. It's crazy isn't it? Intellectually you know you have nothing to apologize for, but your core-- the 'little person' inside of you is still haunted by the memory.

I had to cleanse my inner person through therapy, it's really nice to finally put her to rest. She's sleeping soundly now. =)

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

I hope you enjoy Coraline on stage as much as I did! I thought it caught the feel of Gaiman’s book better than the film (not that I didn’t enjoy Selick’s version), and some of Merritt’s songs are hysterical.

[hyrkanian.livejournal.com]

Facebook has been a strange experience for me. I have people on there from poly, BDSM, GLBT etc., communities. I have people I went to high school with, most of whom wouldn't give me the time of day back then but are all *hugs* & *love ya* now. Also those same people are almost all now devout Christian, when I last recall them being all sex, drugs & rock n' roll. I have my high school debate coach, who was and still is one of the funniest people I've ever known. And is the first teacher I recall being unashamedly gay. I have a guy who I was in Gifted Program classes with in fourth and fifth grade. The one I walked in on while he was taking a leak because he didn't lock the bathroom door. And the guy I hit in the face with a library hardcover copy of Gone With the Wind in 6th grade, because he sat down beside me and put his arm around me and leaned in like he was going to kiss me. Found him as well.

I have the preacher from the first church I attended, and both his kids. I have my first Sunday school teacher, and one of her kids. I have cousins, aunts, parents, in-laws on there. Recently I found one of my old penpals from my pre-high school days (you know in the Stone Age/pre-Internet days) because she has a very memorable maiden name.

I've really come to like Facebook now that I've actually started paying attention to it, but it has been quite the... interesting experience.

[abnormal-apathy.livejournal.com]

I too have had this simiar Facebook experience...though for me it is sometimes also awkward...and I haven't quite figured out the filters yet.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

I'll be interested to hear what you think of Coraline.

N.

[fuyukodachi.livejournal.com]

The organic gardening show I used to transcribe recommended using "garlic tea" as pesticide. You'll have to look up a recipe; all I remember is a lot of garlic and a blender, and not the ratio. He said it was superior to soapy water and didn't negatively affect the flavor of the plants (who dislikes garlic? foolish people!).

[crewgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'll be there tonight too! Weird. I hope you guys enjoy it, as I'm really looking forward to it.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Patty and I are seeing the Coraline musical tonight.

Oh, behold the midwestern Stephin Merritt fan in his natural habitat: Jealousy. Heh.

Tell us how it is, yeah?

[random-girl.livejournal.com]

I have no idea if you can even get ladybugs where you are. They sell them out here in the farm/rural areas in milk boxes. You buy them, but keep them contained until dusk. At dusk, you let them go on your plants. They are likely to stay as they don't like to fly at night, and if you are in a building without much close flora, they'll probably stick around to eat all the aphids. Oh, and the added bonus is that they are lovely.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

Facebook has been really freaking strange for me.

The weirdest is the fact that there are quite a few people on my list that have entirely different political leanings than I do. Luckily, they aren't loud and the one who was was a more a friend of a friend and I dropped her because seeing her rabid Conservative rhetoric on my list every freaking day was too much.

The flip side, is that I got to wish my second First grade teacher (the first left on maternity leave) a happy retirement, in Belgium, through her daughter.

I've found, for me, that FB relationships are far less intimate than LJ. It's mostly idle chit chat on FB and LJ is more detailed. I feel far closer to my LJ friends than my FB friends even though I've met more of FB in person and arguably have known them longer (since so many I knew when I was growing up).

[qthelights.livejournal.com]

I read that as "gardening is hard. lots of emergency tomatoes."