Buffy update

[rm]

So we just watched "Into the Woods" and I have to say what the fuck just happened there?



Let me get this straight, Riley gets out of bed with Buffy, after they've just fucked, to go to a vampire whorehouse, as has been his habit lately. Then Spike, acting out of his lovelonging for Buffy, breaks into her house, wakes her up, and then brings her to see Riley cheating on her WITH VAMPIRE WHORES in action. And then when Buffy and Riley finally speak to each other about it the next day, it's all Buffy's fault?

Now, okay, I agree, that Buffy's head was never in that relationship, and she didn't really treat him fairly, but in a situation like that, reasonable people break up with the person or meet someone else as they drift apart. They do not start frequenting VAMPIRE PROSTITUTES and then blame their girlfriend for it!

Buffy, to her credit, dumps his sorry ass, which is not what I would have done at her age (in circumstances remarkably similar, oddly enough, just, without the vampires).

And then fucking Xander shows up to explain to Buffy that no, it really is all her fault, Riley is the man she should marry, and she should go beg his forgiveness immediately.

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCK IS THAT?

Yes, relationships can (and often should) survive cheating/breaking of promises. But Riley was a class-A asshole to blame Buffy for his response to their mutually broken circumstances, and Xander showing up to be all "how dare you have self-respect, that's getting in the way of looooooove" was icing on the cake of chick-hating/victim-blaming absurdity (that is, if I don't even mention that absurd, "let's chase the helicopter down" scene).

What was that?

THIS SHOW IS FEMINIST? HOW IS THAT? Because Buffy gets to kick the shit out of her enemies before being 'splained to about how her strength makes men feel bad and ruins her relationships?

WHAT BULLSHIT IS THIS?

OH MY GOD.

And then the next episode Xander and Anya are on about Buffy's "terrible" relationship track record. You know, two long-term relationships at her age, in one of which she at least has detente with the ex, is not even remotely the worst track record in the world. But oh no, there must be something "wrong" with Buffy.

Jeez, kids, ever think that (a) she's the Slayer and (b) has some self-respect and (c) really has been thrown a lot of curve balls in both relationships that were completely outside of her control?

Because sure, she's made some bad choices, BUT WHO WENT TO THE VAMPIRE WHOREHOUSE? IT SURE WASN'T BUFFY.

HOW CAN THIS SHOW HATE WOMEN SO MUCH?

Also, don't get me started on the whole "here have a bucket of judgmental metaphors" thing with said vampire whorehouse. Find a through-line, people!

Holy crap. WHUT?

Comments

[realtsunamigirl.livejournal.com]

Okay, first, I can't agree that the show hates women. Or that Xander does or Joss.

I've always had a sneaking affection for Riley and a lot of pity for him. He is the "It" guy. He's your go-to guy, he'll do anything for you from grabbing something off of the top shelf to challenging his girlfriend to a sparring match and then thinking its sexy, if a little unnerving, that she can whoop his butt. Hell, I would date Riley in a minute.

The problem and the point is that Buffy isn't normal and as soon as Riley actually is (post surgery stuff) he can't offer her what she needs (backup, another powerful fighter) and she won't take what he does have to offer (emotional support, help with keeping her life running when her mom gets sick.) He gave up everything that he was in order to be with her and winds up in a relationship where a man who was raised to give everything he could, can give nothing. Has nothing and feels totally adrift.

So he goes out and does something profoundly stupid. Repeatedly. Then he does more stupid stuff, like giving Buffy an ultimatum. Really, really stupid stuff. The problem being is that Riley is simply just too normal and generally well-adjusted to be a Scooby and function. He has to go out and find out what it is to be maladjusted in order to fit in and understand at which point he realises that being a Scooby involves being miserable a goodly portion of the time.

Xander on the other hand, sees Riley as the kind of guy he wants to be, the kind of guy he wants around and the kind of guy he wants his friend to be with. Personally I thought that at that point Buffy needed a good, swift smack upside the head for a whole variety of reasons, some of which involved her treatment of Riley. I thought Xander pretty much summed things up in a lot of ways. He can be a major shmoe but I thought that telling her to stop and look past her hurt pride and justifiable anger and decide whether she might want to give it another shot, because waiting until she had cooled off was not an option, was a the mark of a good friend. "Pull your head out of your ass and don't let anger and hurt pride make your decisions, because you've got a miniscule time window and you don't want to blow it."

Don't get me wrong, I never thought Riley was her forever guy. I thought that the whole vamp whore thing was stupid beyond belief and giving her the ultimatum was the cherry on the cake, but I don't see it as being as ragingly sexist as everyone else seems to. I just see it as people being stupid and self-involved and hurting each other.

And Buffy's track record with guys, in terms of interest, dating or potential (off the top of my head) besides Angel and Riley:
-Owen (Emily Dickenson guy, who finds the Scooby life too much fun and she dumps for his own good)
-Tom (The frat boy who tries to feed her to the snake)
-Ford (The old friend, with romantic overtone potential, who tries to feed her to Spike)
-Scott Hope (The guy she dates for several episodes and then dumps her right before homecoming and, we later find out, tells everybody that she was gay)
-Parker (The guy who one-night-stands-her)

It's not so much that there are that many, it's just that they all end pretty spectacularly badly and painfully, which in combination with the Riley and Angel things? Yeah, I'd say terrible pretty much sums things up.