sundries

[rm]

Trying more of this hyper-focus thing today. Yesterday I got scads done, cleaned all the things and got to have a nice night with Patty. I may also have solved the cruise conundrum (anyone have feelings about Celebrity as a line?).

I may also have solved the dress conundrum. Yes, I say I don't like one-shouldered numbers and worry black is too sedate, but this is a good dress-up/dress-down dress and it's not about the dress anyway, it's about my neckline and my tattoo. I don't want people to be looking at the dress. I do worry it's too safe, or that it won't fit right, but I suppose, order now, have time to solve issues later (because, among other things, I might want to get it shortened so it's just above my knee instead of just below it).

How and why false confessions happen.

Report cards from the Manhattan Trade School for Girls. Weirdly enough, I used to live across the street from there in the Russell Sage building. During the years I lived there there was one shop room on the first floor with frosted windows that someone had leaned a big teddy bear up against on the inside. I can't tell you how many times I walked by their at night with friends who were startled by this shadowy figure and, then, after noticing it that first time, never, ever stopped being creeped out by it.

Vodoun, stigma and status in Benin.

The next steps in the marriage equality battle in New York.

theferrett has something on real names vs. usernames. I cannot speak to the developer-related aspects of this, but one of the valuable things about usernames are that they make engagement with pseudonoymous identities explicit, as opposed to the murky world of "yes, you can just lie about you real name if you need a pseudononymous identity." Being out, about all sorts of things, is a privilege, and I think it's more generous to users and better for online culture, when we can say "here is my mask or shield and I stand by it as my identity and my brand" as opposed to "here is my real name I may or may not be lying about."

Last night on Angel: Monster of the week episode; girl gets turned into a werewolf, plot stolen from half-a-dozen places. On the other hand, I feel like in my ongoing "OMG, RTD, I see what you did there!" tirade, this is the most important episode yet.

There's the end -- where we have this gorgeous team, chilling out, awkwardly, in their fearless leader (to whom they can't quite connect) pad overlooking the city. There's Spike and his struggle against hell (is something moving in the dark, Blondiebear? That's what I want to know). There's the discussion of Angel and his ability to have relationships. There's the mistrust of Gunn and his enhancements (don't use alien artifacts for your own amusement, kids). There's Wesley inability to say anything without sounding slightly smarmy (is that intentional in the performance or just an awkward side-effect of my having seen Torchwood first and the way Denisof sort of smirks his way through every line?) There's the way Angel's like "fine, eat the other guy, I don't give a shit."

All the brutality and love hung on a sort of pointless frame that I think of as so emblematic of the first two seasons of Torchwood is all so right here.

Comments

[spiderine.livejournal.com]

I like that dress and can see you in it. What you need is a big, chunky, gorgeous necklace with that. I have a glorious chunky polished amber necklace that I wear with my "little black dresses" that simply jumps off the black and makes my entire face glow (or at least I feel that it does!).

[frackattack.livejournal.com]

I find the report cards fascinating, a piece of history that needs to be treasured. I can't believe these were almost thrown out! It pays to be nosy. :)

[elisi]

The dress is gorgeous! And interesting enough not to be 'safe' I think?

And it's fascinating to see Angel through the lens of Torchwood - I always saw it the other way, of course, but S5 really hits the similarities since Team Angel really are 'outside the government etc'. Well, they're also attached to Evil Inc, which makes for a different sort of moral dilemma.

The episode is one of the weakest of the season, although it does encapsulate a lot of the themes. Also it has some truly excellent lines:

ANGEL: What I'm trying to do, Nina, is help you.
NINA: Said the psycho rapist. How do you know my name? What do you want with me?

Because really, 'psycho rapist' is a pretty spot-on description of Angelus...

Anyway, I must now run out the door to pick up the children after spending most of the day cleaning a fraction of the things... (There are SO MANY THINGS!)

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

You really cannot go wrong with that dress. You are not "too safe."

Stop Staring runs small. I am a Large. Order accordingly. Will still fit like paper on the wall (in a good way).

[rm.livejournal.com]

It also seems to run top heavy. Their size instructions say to order a small, but I'm afraid my ass will bust out of it. I'm afraid I don't have the tits for a medium though. Hence my order now, so I have time when I am disappointed later.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Also, am I right, no jewelry except maybe a bracelet?

[eandh99.livejournal.com]

You're buying a Pam dress - seriously, she has it in red, looks amazing. Go with the measurements, not the size label - stopstaring thinks a size 18 is a 3X. And the earring should coordinate with the chunky bracelet - do you have a bracelet you want to wear? Take that with you when you're earring-shopping, and I'd recommend vintage shops as well. Okay, ETA you need a bracelet too. I'd stick to vintage for both pieces, I think you'll have a better change of finding a substantial bracelet for a small wrist that way. The tiniest flavour of Mad Men to the styling here.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

I can absolutely see you in that dress. Go for it. ♥

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

That post about usernames made me mad. (As does 90% of everything I've ever seen written by that person.) Like there aren't people with the same legal name on their identity papers? Like making up a name for Facebook is not creating a user name? Ugh. It read to me like someone pissy because they didn't get what they wanted and no one should now ever.

I realize my reaction is a little excessive. It's that kind of morning.

The biggest problem for me is the idea that a person should only have one name forever and ever amen. That's utterly, completely ridiculous. Historically, also ridiculous given titles and nicknames and middle names and names given for a host of reasons from religious to personal.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Ayup. Also, other people please do not be telling me what my name or my presentation of it should be. I do not, and will never, answer to Rachel, as an example.

And, I spend to much time with this big heavy name my parents gave me as a byline or other public name, I'm increasingly leaning towards having something for my private use that isn't on the damn Internet, not for privacy regarding facts, but because I deserve a sort of emotional intimacy that being as brand-focused as I am, I don't always have. Also: my name blows for shouting across a room.

[alienor.livejournal.com]

It read to me like someone pissy because they didn't get what they wanted and no one should now ever.

That's exactly how I read it. If your reaction is excessive, then so is mine.

More coffee, pls.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

(As does 90% of everything I've ever seen written by that person.)

I stopped reading him after the "Open Source Boobs" debacle. Just...no.

The biggest problem for me is the idea that a person should only have one name forever and ever amen. That's utterly, completely ridiculous. Historically, also ridiculous given titles and nicknames and middle names and names given for a host of reasons from religious to personal.

Heh. I'm in full agreement. I fought with my family for YEARS over the idea that I should be called what I wish to be called. My given name is Margaret Susanne, which I like fine. My family insisted on calling me Peggy Sue, which I did not and do not like in the slightest, so I used to insist on being called Margaret, even though it's a pretty stern sounding name for a young person.

When I met my husband, he started calling me Maggie, which I like. He also started calling me any number of variations of Maggie, which I also like. My family threw a fit, because "That's not your name!"

My best friend calls me Missy. He always has. For him, it's an endearment like honey or sweetie or sugar. I like that name a lot, too, and it is the name I work under and am known by on the Internet, and my friends alternate between Maggie and Missy. And my husband throws a fit about it, because "That's not your name!"

*sigh* I tell them all I'm going to change my name to Fred if they don't stop their bickering.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

It made me mad, too. And I have a nice, unique name that's never been changed, I've never had a nickname or a scene name or a craft name or whatever, I spent my first decade on the Internet without a "handle" (much to many people's consternation), I'm more than happy to have my given name linked to this LJ identity, etc--but, I dunno, I don't expect everyone else to do as I do, eh? :P

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Historically, also ridiculous given titles and nicknames and middle names and names given for a host of reasons from religious to personal.

*nods* And this doesn't just happen with westerners onna internets, either. I believe it's not unknown in the Far East to modify one's name according to a host of reasons.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Cosigned.

I have had online usernames since 19-freaking-81, and they have ALL served different purposes, and people from different eras of my life know me by different names. Some of them have had some version of my given name in them, and some of them haven't. In face-to-face life, I use 3 different versions of my given name for different purposes -- the full name for legalities, the two-syllable diminutive for work, and the one-syllable diminutive for friends, family, and writing. Which single name should I pick?

Some people color-code to organize. I organize my social life by my various names.

Celebrity Cruise Line

[newwaytowrite.livejournal.com]

I have been on Carnival, Royal Carribean and Celebrity. I would say for the higher end experience Celebrity blew the doors off my expectations. I will confess that my last cruise was in early 1999 so what has happened in the decade plus since I have no clue. I would recommend if you can find an itinerary you like Celebrity choose a smaller sized ship if that is available.

Re: Celebrity Cruise Line

[rm.livejournal.com]

We found the right itinerary on the right dates, and the Verandah rooms are all in our price range, so I'm thinking this is going to be it, although patty hasn't had time to check it out yet, and may have fresh eyes for things I've not caught.

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

I had a good experience with Celebrity. My parents have gone around the bend for the cruise vacations (we're talking at least a couple a year) and after a really bad experience with Princess it sounds like they will only travel with Celebrity from now on.

[idunn.livejournal.com]

I was seriously turned off by theferrett's logic and his comments to people until I realized, this is the guy who dreamed up the Open Source Boob Project, right? Explains a lot.

[sevendayloan.livejournal.com]

I couldn't disagree more with theferrett's post. My internet self is pretty distinctly different from my "real life" and I can think of half a dozen reasons why I really wouldn't want the two to cross over. I appreciate the way usernames and pseudonyms give me a bit of anonymity and help me draw the clear distinction between [internet name] and [given name].

[zare-k.livejournal.com]

I cannot see what the heck theferrett's point is (and I am a software engineer for what it's worth).
People get upset that they can't get "their" handle on some site, and it's hard to tell who people are across sites or if you "really" are xxMyNiftyHandlexx.
So to solve this problem, people should use their real names. But wait-- some people don't want to use their legal name on the net! And now the solution is... just make something up, so long as it resembles a "real name".

...Huh?

Using real names, or things that look like real names, does not get you out of either problem in any way. Suppose my name is "John Smith"-- the land grab problems with that should be obvious. I can try to disambiguate by location, userpic, or some other identifier but that gets clunky depending on what the particular site supports and how much PII I want to publish.
Or as theferrett suggests I can try to pick an alias that is likely uncommon ("Englebert Foobar") but now there is nothing to tie my "real identity" with my user identity, unless I start calling myself Englebert Foobar in public.
An alias is an alias so far as the technology is concerned, regardless of whether the site's culture encourages handles or use of "real" names.

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the logic baffled me, too. I think he was suggesting that you use the same name everywhere to limit confusion, but that doesn't explain why it's better to use a fake name like Englebert Foobar than, say, a username like "theferrett." And besides, I kind of like that I can use different names on different sites/types of sites.

And even though he says it's okay to use a fake name, he does seem to be saying that using your real name is best. So yeah, I'm not sure what he's getting at, but I'm pretty sure I don't care for it.

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Re: the dress, this does indeed qualify in the "ignore any statement by me if you find something fabulous." I'm on the fence about shortening it, though.

Strangely, the usernames post and the article about Voudoun came to me through different channels today. I'm...nonplussed about the username post. Not just because of the privilege (though it's soaking in it) but also the lack of internal consistency. Usernames are bad but an alias is good? Really?

[rm.livejournal.com]

I didn't post the username piece because I liked it, certainly.

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

I think it's more generous to users and better for online culture, when we can say "here is my mask or shield and I stand by it as my identity and my brand" as opposed to "here is my real name I may or may not be lying about."

Yeah, that's how I feel. I don't mind if people use fake, real-sounding names, but I think people tend to assume that that's the person's real name, and I don't want people to assume that about me. I feel like a liar, whereas if I don't tell people my real name, I'm just not telling me my real name.

I didn't think theferett's argument made much sense. For one thing, why is a fake name comprised of a first and last name better than a user name? And why is it important that people know your real name unless you're trying to build an online presence connected to your offline self?

Also, considering people can have the same name, I don't see how it makes it any easier. It's really hard to find someone on Facebook if there are 200 people with their name. If anything, it's simpler with usernames since only one person can have a particular name on a site like LJ. As long as you type the name right, there's no doubt who you're talking about.

[pineapplechild.livejournal.com]

I am having a somewhat mixed reaction to that username post. Mostly negative feelings for different reasons. The main gist of it is that, like you said, being out anywhere is a privilege. And my compromise with myself has generally been, whatever else I am, I am all of myself on the internet, awkward and too Christian to be as happily queer as I am and too queer to be as conservative (in both the narrow and broader sense of the term) as I am. (Which works most of the time.) Which, because I can't always be out with everything offline, is why I keep usernames on the internet; I know that it could be tracked back to me offline, but I do a lot to minimize that, first and foremost being, never make people think to look. The second reason I keep usernames on the internet is because I've never been super attached to my birth name. The diminutive I go by suits me quite well, and it "feels" like me-- but it's still the super polite, non-threatening version of me. (Not that my various online monikers, which at the moment are all either related to pineapples or Donne, are particularly threatening, but overall, they do tend to express something I don't always feel free to.)

The other reason I dislike Ferett's argument is that the tone of it-- not the argument, but a lot of the tone-- is coming off to me as "But I can't be arsed to keep my mental database of who's who accurate!". And first off, cry me a river, and second off-- if you can't be arsed to, why do I care that you don't know who I am?

(Oh, and the third is, I dislike immensely being told who I can be. I will be myself and all my compromises will be my own.)

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

I can't even make theferrett's argument make sense. There's no effective difference between calling yourself ponymcrainbow on livejournal and Pony McRainbow on facebook, and since his/her main problem seems to be with people not maintaining one identity consistently, insisting they adopt yet another is a little bit counterproductive.

Dress.

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

That is totally not what you said you wanted, and it's completely wonderful, and you will look amasing in it.
Attention future extraterrestrial xenologists:this is what Earth people actually looked like!