(no subject)

[rm]

I tend to like to reduce things to make a point and it occured to me on the subway the other day in examining the point of intersection of an odd number of my accutely varied interests, that in the spirit of this, everyone has one sentence they are waiting and yearning to hear. And in this waiting and yearning, they mistake all sorts of other things for it.

For me, it's "I want to build an empire with you" and what I've actually responded to, more than I'd ever like to admit are variants of "I want you to build an empire with me" and "I want you to help me build an empire" -- subtle differences that chaffed at me absurdly and served me not at all. This leads tangentally to something I don't care to get into today, which is that in my past I have often chosen and sought restriction because the ache of wanting was too much. Obviously, I don't exactly choose that path anymore.

Those who know the who and the how of some of my past relationships, particularly those of my early and mid-twenties, will nod and giggle. Actually, it's nod and giggle worthy regardless.

But tell me, what is the sentence you are waiting to hear? And what do you respond to quite foolishly in the process of listening too hard?

Comments

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

My first reaction was, "I want to make a home and make art with you," for the sentence I've wanted to hear (and have finally heard); and "I want you to make my dream home while I make art -- or talk about making it," as the one I responded to as if it were the former.

Let me think about this, because there are other sentences I am waiting or have waited to hear. The question of what have I responded to instead, though, is very illuminating (though there are things scuttling away in the light that I might have preferred not to see).

[shakespearessis.livejournal.com]

Interesting.

I am not sure there is a sentence, or at least, that I have words for it. If there is one, it is "I want to be bound to you, by choice and affection and in cheerful, willing entropy; and exist" and too often I have followed "I want to own you," "I want you to belong to me," "I want you to be my queen," and others of the sort.

[rufus.livejournal.com]

hmm. I don't know.

but i did respond quite well to "I want to tango with you.", which was kind of it, but . . . not quite.

[keever.livejournal.com]

These days, it's "yes, you will find peace and satisfaction," and the only person it's important to (honestly) hear it from is myself. In fact, there is very little that I need to hear from anyone else in my life right now, even those I love.

Unfortunately, my response to both fears that I'll never feel it and small moments where I believe I've got it figured out is often too immediate. I'm most definitely listening too hard to the voice that wants to tell me that it's going to be that hard or easy.

[rollick.livejournal.com]

My goals are fairly pedestrian. All I'm waiting for is "I know you're seeing someone, but I just have to kiss you."

This would cause me to over-respond to questions like "So, are you happy with your relationship?" except that I've been hiding what I want and what I care about from casual view since I was about 12 years old. If anything, I underrespond lest someone catch on.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

it is something like:

"It's all right now. You're home, and you are loved and needed and appreciated and desired and respected."

[The only time I truly heard this and understood and felt this was, strangely, in a jet-lagged seeming mental conversation with the City of New York, while I was briefly blown through JFK. Few persons who know the city are not surprised by this; the city doesn't seem to be known for kindness to strangers or new arrivals or at all. But I believed it.]

and while I may have been told this, it has not always been true; people lie, or people promise too much. Or life gets in the way. Or perhaps I am more needy and desiring and demanding and high-maintenance than they knew, or they are weaker than they knew.

And of course, even when people don't lie, my own inability to trust their words has a great deal to do with it. And I'm still really, really hazy on the entire concept of *home*, and what it is, what it means to me, and what I want from one. This makes it all the more difficult; I don't quite know what I want and need, nor can anyone else, most likely. I just wordlessly yearn for something I don't even comprehend, like staring at the night sky.

So many of the sentences I think of are ones I heard but didn't believe, because I'd been told them before and they were refuted. Perhaps "You can trust" ought to be in there somewhere. And "You can succeed".

I'm curious: how does "I want us, you and I, to build an empire together" sound to your phrase?

[rm.livejournal.com]

I'm curious: how does "I want us, you and I, to build an empire together" sound to your phrase?

This will say a great deal about my shit -- small, as if implying more metaphor than action. But [insert random hand gesture here] I am precise about language in a way utterly peculiar unto myself that makes translating my interpersonal desires and understanding those of others, rather challenging.

As to your stuff about NYC -- makes perfect sense to me. This is a place that respects the struggle, and is good to those for it.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

There's something about the word empire that demands a more extravagent expression than other words. When I see it I am tempted to lift up my book and shout it, though I suppose that would make studying Russian history a noisy process.

The sentence I've always wanted to hear would be "I will go to the end with you." Too often I fall for "Back me up" or "Follow me this way."

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Definitely a fascinatingly useful question, thank you. My sentence is "I want to share all of my magical and unique life with you and to become part of your odd elective family" (the "and to become part of your odd elective family" is a rather more recent addition).

When I listen too hard "I'm vastly unstable and interestingly insane" sounds far too much like the above statement, as does "I want to share my once exotic and increasingly dull and mundane life with you and to make you pay attention to no one but me". I've learned to tell the 2nd of these statements from what I want to hear, but I still occasionally get tricked by the first.

[orien.livejournal.com]

For a very long time, it was nothing more than to hear my name said warm with love. I don't know that it could all be distilled any further than that one thing, the pinpoint of my marker of identity and existence.

I listen too hard only for that.

[kalyx.livejournal.com]

"use my body like the page of a book, your book."

I have longed for a romance, the kind that is lustful and extravagant, and probably short lived but that will burn inside forever. the kind of relationship where I am given liberties to someone's flesh, not ownership, but the freedom to use their flesh without shame or fear.

And I long for the opportunity to write history. I'm not certain in what capacity, but it is there. I don't know whether it is a personal history, or academic, but I want to be found in a library someday.

And it is an odd desire, since I have little skills with a pen.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

Some day, someone won't need to say anything.
It hasn't happened yet.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

" I will stand back to back with you, fighting until the ammo runs out "

Oddly enough, this has been said to me. Unfortunately the person who said it is behind in NYC. That's enough of a thought right there, until my brain kicks into overdrive and reminds me that she is completely utterly out of my league. Then again , my brain tells me that about every woman I meet.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

"I understand what you're feeling; I feel the same way about (whatever)."


..alas, it's never quite so, no matter how good the intention..