things you never, ever want to think

[rm]

I swear to god, if I owned a gun I'd use it to shoot that fucking cockroach.

Note: real, not metaphorical, cockroach

Comments

[d-aulnoy.livejournal.com]

What you want is a Pest Contro 1000. It's an as-sold-on-TV thingy that I bought out of desperation about 8 years ago, when I lived in the most vermin-infested apartment known to man. We used to decide who got the first slice of toast by who got the higher kill count before breakfast. And, I am seriously talking double-digits here. We tried *everything* within reason ... and the morning I woke up to find a roach sitting on my pillow waving at me was the morning I went beyond reason and into desperation and bought the handy little device I like to call The Verminator.

Seriously? Within a week, the roaches were just ... gone. I haven't had an issue with any kind of insect life since (except for the stray yearly waterbug who comes along, and I assume they're just passing through). Also, I recommend this to people often enough that I ought to, a) have some kind of a boilerplate form ready on my desktop, and b) be getting some kind of a kickback from the company.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I am so completely phobic of roaches that my only argument with this statement is that my hands might shake. My usual panicked reaction is to want to set fire to the room and possibly the whole building. (After, you know, screaming, hyperventilating and freaking out.)

[hakeber.livejournal.com]

And it was big as a taxi, yes? That is one of the few bugs I'm phobic of. I dance on furniture and shriek killitkillitkillit!

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I've had that thought lots of times!

[lawnrrd]

The Combat brand baits work wonders.

[marchek.livejournal.com]

This is exactly why I should never be allowed to own a firearm.

[miep.livejournal.com]

some polish girls at my dorm in Russia became my friends for life by giving me their roach motels and a big can of roach spray when they left. they were little roaches, but they were everywhere. the babies played in my bathtub.

[tdanaher.livejournal.com]

Why muse about a gun when you have a sword? Cockroach death by sword, another way you get to move through the world in an uncommon way.

[lllvis.livejournal.com]

I'd bring one over, but it's kindofa long drive... :-D

Besides, in my experience you'd only wind up with a drafty apartment with waaaay more places for the buggers to come visit you after you've run out of ammo!!

[ginmar.livejournal.com]

Snerk.

When I worked as an armed guard, one of the girls in the vault called me down in a panic.

There was a cockroach. What was I supposed to do, shoot it?

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

I confess, in my youth, to being driven mad by a cricket that was chirping incessantly until 3AM that I ended up trying to stab it with a pocket knife.

*hangs head in shame*

[genders.livejournal.com]

Is this roach in any way related to kalichan's roach? Or is it some mutant invasion a la Omega Man?

[jslorentz.livejournal.com]

I'm going to use that line in my head the next time I run into one... maybe it will help me feel better, because seriously, I am fucking phobic of the big ones... and they know it. They always know it.