you kinky dino, you sundries

[rm]

Long post on Quartett later, which will include references to Hypnotoad.

Cats with diplomas. via jackolatern.

starstealingirl alerted me to the existence of kinkfreezone. Now, I think it's perfectly reasonable for there to be fanfic communities that focus on whatever people are into or not into, and a comm devoted to vanilla fanfic makes perfect sense to me. Assuming you can figure out how to define that. Well kinkfreezone provides its users with a list of kinks that aren't welcome on the community, which, again, you know, FINE, except, you know, maybe kink isn't the best thing to use for some of these things.

Specifically, the community says "Gender themes (gender confusion; sex changes; genderfucks; hermaphrodites; cross-dressing or other forms of genderbending; drag queens and transvestites; androgyny; forced feminization; butch/femme; tomboys)."

Department of newsflash:

1. I am not a kink;
2. I am not a "genderfuck," but thank you for playing, and, by the way...
3. What about characters who canonically are or do any of those things (i.e., Desire from Sandman, Pie'oh'Pah from Imajica, etc.) Also the enforcement of gender norms can very much be a kink too.

Anyway, while I totally get the point of the community, they really may want to take a look at the degree to which their verbiage is a pretty vicious, heteronormative fuck you. Also, there's a ton of other really problematic shit lurking on there as well (all virgins are kinks; apparently so is all rape recovery).

One of the front page stories on About.com today? Everything you ever wanted to know about dino sex .
(Image created by About.com is of two cartoon dino silhouettes kissing; it makes me happy.)

Giant bird snags car. Actually not really, but you have to look at this image chickenfried_jo posted.

Best headline you're going to see on the Berlin Wall over the next week? The Berlin Wall: A Division Through Time. This article is pretty great, too. I know I will be reading too much nostalgia news next week.

Dog run portraits.

NaNo is officially getting hard. I remain under quota, but I have been writing every day. I'm currently in the middle of a huge scene that I think actually needs to get even huger and be broken down into a couple of chapters. I realize first drafts are always terrible, and I am trying to convince myself just not to worry, that structure, more richness in B-plot and flow will come in the second draft. I just have to get this done. But it's antithetical to how I work, and I'm hitting the "actually, I think this kinda blows" point, although I think it will be great When and If I Ever Finish It.

(I had an excerpt up a moment ago but then took it away, because I'm feeling vulnerable and weird about the whole thing).

Comments

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Bhah, I am at pretty much exactly that point with NNWM today. :P I'm 4k words behind my personal quota, and instead of writing them I keep staring at the page, then going off and playing Solitaire instead. If this keeps up I might have to go plug into Write or Die for 15 minutes, just get some damn words on the page.

[newsbean.livejournal.com]

*TOMBOYS*

Seriously? Females who wear pants and have short hair. Really. Sigh.

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, so I'm thinking no Starbuck fic, or what?

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Beyond their verbiage being heteronormative (and possibly heterosexist)... it's just feels downright exclusionary.
I mean, just e.g.,nipple play? What includes "play" and what doesn't? How the hell do you police that sort of writing?
How do you decide why a character does anything without destroying the entire narrative?
Maybe I'm being picky and diverting my potential simmering rage at the way this community presents kink and I'm just trying to think how vanilla can be written down, when vanilla, like kink, is a whole slew of behaviours.

*Cheers* Go NaNo Go */Cheers*
In case that wasn't clear, that was me being all cheerleader-y. I'm not very good at that sort of thing, alas.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah is vanilla sex really PiV (despite the community allowing slash) with no foreplay whatsoever? oral sex allowed as long as it's not with enthusiasm?

ETA: also just posted another little excerpt.

[pocketmouse]

*lols at excerpt* hrm, that sound suspiciously familiar.

Did you see thingswithwings' post about it? It's here. The comments are particularly hilarious. As co-mod of kink_bingo, she's got a pretty good POV on it all.

And I am now currently thinking about inserting animals getting diplomas into my current fic, thanks.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's one of those based on RL moments, which is probably why I don't hate it. All that shit I have to write all by my lonesome is epically HORRIBLE. Actually, it's not, but I'm in the self-hating stage of Nano.

Have not seen thingswithwings's commentary. Will check it out.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

So Jack/Ianto would be a nonstarter, even though it's....uhhhmmm...CANON???

If you are that squicked by two adult males (or two adult females, to be fair), engaging in consentual sexual activity? Maybe Torchwood fandom just not the place for you.

Unless it's "Jack puts up with Ianto going down on him while he fantasizes about Gwen doing so."

Except not so much, yanno?

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

Slash is specifically allowed.

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

I just read the list of disallowed kinks at kinkfreezone, and . . . wow. I think everything I have ever written would fall into one of those categories, and I've never thought of myself as someone who writes kink. The list disallows whole fandoms (e.g. anything age of sail, anything set in prison)! It disallows stories about villains! And apparently anything where the partners aren't exactly equal in age, social status, or beauty is a kink. Who knew? And so are stories where people have more than one partner (including, apparently, serial monogamy), where people have religious faith (or doubts), and where people flirt by making eye contact.

Generally speaking, I rather hate the term "vanilla" for non-kink, because it suggests that anything not kinky is boring. But . . . I'm hard pressed to imagine a story that could omit every single thing on that list and still be interesting. Still be about people with actual flaws and problems, not iconic figures of True Love.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Same here.

Brothers in arms? Check. One night stands? Trouser bulges? Exposing a woman's breasts? Check, check, check.

opulence, decadence, and sensuality in general

I really need to buy some cheaper sheets. Mine aren't vanilla enough.

It seems the owners of this community might do better to state what they are about than what they're not.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

Exoticism (fetishization of Far Eastern culture and aesthetics, which may be adapted and generalized for fictional worlds

Well, there goes all of Firefly fanfic...

[delchi.livejournal.com]

That does it for me. No Firefly fanfic? I'm done.

[firinel.livejournal.com]

I don't have enough information to say one way or another, but in an abstract sense, I think I do see a very distinct difference between someone who is in any way not heteronormative (for instance, someone who identifies as genderqueer) being in a story and it not being used as a kink, and a story about that same person that specifically turns that identification into a kink.

I certainly experienced that sort of thing irl - it's one thing to love someone who happens to be genderqueer, and another thing to actively fetishise that.

Of course, like I said, I've no idea at all if that's the sort of distinction that they're making or not, but it's what immediately occurred to me.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I agree there can be a distinction on that (and many of other other eye-brow raising things they listed (i.e., one character being a virgin as opposed to that virginity being fetishized in the story)). However, I firmly believe in mean what you say and say what you mean, and as it's currently phrased, the list is unclear and offensive on a number of topics.

[5251962.livejournal.com]

Genderfucking?
Um. What is that?
(I am not stupid, I honestly am not understanding what its useage is- but wouldn't the opposition be...well, I mean, the term doesn't make any sense to me.)

[5251962.livejournal.com]

I am also not trying to be insensitive, I am asking because I don't know.

[fruitsgrow.livejournal.com]

Good grief. They might as well edit "where vanilla isn't a bad word" to "all sex is bad if it isn't missionary."

[5251962.livejournal.com]

Complete with instructions on how to cut the hole in the bedsheet and tips on where to buy lamps with very long pull chords. LOL

[matthewwdaly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not inclined to read a story from someone with this little grasp over the logical structure of a community's by-laws.

Still, the creator posted stories for about a week and then eight months of the silence that comes of absolutely nobody buying into the community's purpose. It seems to have achieved the level of obscurity that it deserves without our help.

[sunhawk.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, they should have just stuck to making a list of what is acceptable, but I'm not really sure there is anything left!! They even put virgins on there! And discomfort during sex! So they just want happy, fluff fics of characters in Tru Luv over and over again? Dammit I've been a few fandoms with people like this who don't want anything in the fics they read that isn't complete safe and heteronormative, even when it's slash.

[chickenfried-jo.livejournal.com]

HEee! I didn't even NOTICE the car, I was so busy seeing his little face and the blur of his wings!

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a femme lesbian who's a virgin with men, they can kiss my icky taboo "kinky" ass. Jesus Christ.

[cozzene.livejournal.com]

It sounds like Goldilocks and the Three Bears is more the idea. Boring.

[amberite.livejournal.com]

Wow, that list is full of fail.

Apparently "discomfort during sex" is a kink. As opposed to, you know, a consequence of insufficient lube or whatever.

Referring to the tone of someone's voice is "voice fetishization" and thus too kinky. Has anyone EVER had sex in monotone?

Eye contact as flirting is not permitted. WTF?

Men aren't allowed to wear nail polish, because it's too kinky. Have these people ever been in a major city? Have these people ever had sex?

Aw, hell. I couldn't resist. I wrote a parodical drabble and joined the comm for five minutes to post the thing up. Okay, let the flames begin. :P

Preserved here for posterity in case they take it down

[amberite.livejournal.com]

http://community.livejournal.com/kinkfreezone/2890.html

TITLE: Following the Rules
AUTHOR: amberite
PAIRING: Jack/Ianto
RATING: PG-13 - I used a naughty word! Possibly two!
WARNINGS: None


---

The two of them were in a blank room one day, free of all extraneous objects. "Hello," Jack said in a boring drawl.

"Hello," Ianto said back, speaking in monotone.

"Ianto, would you like to have sex?" Jack said, not making eye contact.

"No, I cannot. You see, you might accidentally jab me with your elbow, and it would be too kinky," Ianto said, looking down at the ground, carefully avoiding seeing his feet or his clothing.

"You know, these rules suck," said Jack in a bored tone of voice. "I think I'm losing my boner. Let's get out of here."

"Let's," said Ianto. So they left the blank room to find a better fucking place, one of their usual [REDACTED] hangouts with more [REDACTED] and [REDACTED].

And then they done sex.

It's a sad day when tomboys are kinkier than ponyboys.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, dear. At least they credited eliade, whose list (of kinks and tropes!)they selectively cut-and-pasted, obviously not stopping to rephrase things? <url=http://eliade.livejournal.com/472331.html>Said list. It's interesting which kinks-and-tropes they omitted, ie:

"Animalistic behaviors and characteristics, submissive (feral characters or behavior; domesticated pet behavior such as sitting at owner's foot and cheeking their thigh; purring; licking; characters objectified as animals, e.g., ponyboys)"

"School themes and fetishization (boarding schools; dojos; scholarly gowns and uniforms; sailor fuku; prep school chic; teacher/student pairings; donnish or professorial characters; prefects/head boys; caning; schoolboy hijinks or sexual discovery; military academies; tutoring and teaching in general; see also Conditioning)" etc.

Re: It's a sad day when tomboys are kinkier than ponyboys.

[amberite.livejournal.com]

Actually, they gave ponyfication a section of its own - but I'm not sure they hit the rest of the animalistic set, so that means you can growl but ONLY if you're doing it like an animal. Rarr!

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

Mod is now baleeting all comments taking zir to task. What a coward.

[sunhawk.livejournal.com]

Oh boy, in a truly classy act, instead of apologizing for any of her mistakes, the mod rewrote the post to be even MORE rude and removed all comments. Whoosh, right over her head!

[azurelunatic]

Comm's deleted now. What a surprise.

[missdeanna.livejournal.com]

The inclusion of "orientation issues" as a kink bothers me, too. So, it's kinky if someone is questioning their sexual orientation?

I find it kind of odd that the comm feels the need to list all the specific kinks that are outlawed, while still being very vague about it. I think that's the problem with trying to define a comm too narrowly. There's no way you can ban everything that could possibly be kinky to someone. It's impossible and would result in really boring fics. What would be so bad about leaving it up to the writers to decide if their fics fit the comm, and take moderator action only if necessary?

not that there aren't more serious issues here, but...

[sushis.livejournal.com]

"Voice fetishization (cracking or broken; husky, low, throaty; purring; accents; whispering close to someone's ear)"

LOL!

Edited:

"Let me make sweet love to you, My Precious," whispered said Jorge George, at a medium volume, confident but not demanding, using the diction of a midwestern newscaster, which Janet of course didn't notice, seeing as it's the closest thing to an American ear as "not having an accent at all."

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Mountain Goats!!

[editrx.livejournal.com]

Wow, I must completely fail for that "non-kinky" community: bi AND a tomboy. Hell and damnation, I never knew I was A Kink.

What is with people who think this way? Gender identification as kink? WTF?! Nevermind, that's a rhetorical question. It just burns me inside.

I need a WTF icon, clearly.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Feel free to borrow mine. Some people might even recognize it's origin :)

[delchi.livejournal.com]

It seems the group has disbanded.... oh my...

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Just as well the comm disbanded - it would have been easier for them to make a shorter list of the few, few things they WOULD allow you to write about.

And yeah, I was unaware that simply being something was kinky.