sundries

[rm]

Sexism, let me count the ways: a new book in the UK asserts that women who allow nannies to help raise their children produce boys who grow up to be adulterers. And the girl children? Well they just become sluts and substance abusers.

The high school that canceled the prom because of a lesbian in a tux also reportedly repeatedly suspended a transgender student for earlier this year. In the realm of the slightly bizarre, this has come to light through Dan Savage, who has a good record about a lot of things and is entertaining as fuck, but has also been repeatedly faily regarding transphobia.

Wreckage of WWII plane found in Oregon.

That man who would become Pope Benedict XVI was kept more closely apprised regarding a sexual abuse case in Germany than previous church statements have indicated. Anyone got any insight into precedence/likelihood of the pope resigning?

I know we're supposed to hate A.I. (which I still think came perilously close to being one the greatest films ever made in spite of all the ways it falls apart; when I think about what it could have been had its vision fully succeeded I can barely breathe), but I can't introduce this link in any other way: Man Hatten, the place where the lions weep.

Dear Amanda Palmer: The problem with hipster racism is that if people don't know you it doesn't sound like a joke (which was never very funny anyway); it sounds like racism. Also, despite the illusions that celebrity media and internet culture encourage, most of the people who are really pissed off at you right now, don't know you; hence your racist joke sounding, you know, racist. Also, please stop contributing to our societal abuse of the word irony.

That said...

Dear Everyone Else, I am extremely sick of people calling her "a bitch" and "a slut" and other gendered terms that are about shaming female gender and sexuality because they either are (rightfully) angry about this latest debacle and default to those words (I'm working on it too!) or, and this is what I'm really irritated about, because they don't like that she's marrying Neil Gaiman.

This thing is about Amanda Palmer and who she is in public. While this thing may or may not be relevant to who she or Gaiman are are in private, if you don't know them personally (_personally_, not whatever quirk of internet/celebrity culture put the whole Internet on a first name basis with them) who they are at home isn't relevant to you, and the jealousy and misogyny I've seen directed at her deeply, deeply muddies the water in the critical response to her work and the performance of her public life. Please knock it off. It's not helping, and it's not appropriate.

At long last, a URL and registration information for the Bristol conference at which I'll be presenting the paper about mourning for fictional characters: Desiring the Text, Touching the Past: Towards An Erotics of Reception.

Observation about White Collar fandom: Look kids, the rape narratives are back. No, really. Rape hasn't been a huge topic in Torchwood fandom at all. White Collar fandom? Rape, rape, rape, prison rape, prison rape, prison rape. Some of it's kinkmemes, some of it's people processing their own experiences, some of it's just there, but I'd forgotten this aspect of fandom. This sort of thing was prominent in Harry Potter fandom, but it had slipped my mind the degree to which its thematic absence from Torchwood (although I've seen a few stories here and there) is atypical of both fandom and media in general.

Comments

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I really really hate the conflation of AFP's public persona and her relationship with Neil Gaiman. Beyond it being irrelevant to the subject at hand, it's so deeply misogynistic that I find myself wanting to defend her existence, when I'm deeply disappointed in her truly faily utterances.

[st-aelphaba.livejournal.com]

My ex-Catholic husband says it's highly unlikely, that he's more likely to call for papal clemency. List of popes who have resigned: http://atheism.about.com/od/popesandthepapacy/a/resignations_2.htm

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

This. Not a chance in hell he'll resign. The Catholic hierarchy is rotten to the core.

This is all I can think about them these days: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness." Mt. 23:27

[liminalia.livejournal.com]

AFP has completely lost any respect I ever had for her, and I used to be a huge fan. The last year's worth of fail has guaranteed she'll never see my money again. However, I may just go buy that Lady GaGa album...

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

On a purely musical basis, I am in love with the Gaga for the FUNBOUNCYPOPYAY!

She had a little bit of ablism fail when her "Paparazzi" video came out (I wasn't paying any attention at the time, but it opens with beautiful abled girl being pushed off a cliff, next shot is her in a wheelchair being helped into crutches, next shot is perfect-bodied Gaga writhing on a couch pop star style) and I'm sure she's touched on other faily things, but I was impressed with her being pretty good at the whole alt-sexuality thing after reading this article.

I am DEEPLY in love that her two most recent music videos (Paparazzi and Telephone) have been _actual little ten-minute films_ . I think she's doing really fun things with the form, and I like it. They're both on YouTube, I recommend watching them!

...as for selling out...dude, selling out pays the bills. Your milage may vary, but I am incredibly okay with it.

...and if you knew all that already, sorry for babbling. I am currently just starting being incredibly into Gaga, and so therefore telling everybody everything possible.

~Sor

[sethg]

I love how having a degree in psychiatry gives you license to just make shit up about “child-rearing practice A causes pathology B” without having to even look for, y’know, evidence.

Considering all the stories I hear about “helicopter parents”, the current generation of twenty- and thirty-somethings seems a little too exclusively attached to Mom and Dad. Maybe their parents should have spent more time leaving them with nannies.

[elisi]

Rape hasn't been a huge topic in Torchwood fandom at all.
Hmm, I never thought about it, but that's very true. I wonder why that is, since all the tools are there - that spray Owen uses + retcon... Maybe something about the omni-sexual nature of the show, which means the characters will sleep together without having to be forced?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Also we don't see any of our main characters in situations that can imply sex peril, I don't think. In White Collar and Harry Potter I think those leaps are easier.

[kessie.livejournal.com]

I will be very surprised if the Pope resigns. It's happened before, but it's rare, and the Church is still clinging to its 'untouchable' status with white-knuckled hands.

[jbsegal.livejournal.com]

Unrelated, mostly, to everything, but if you happen to like (hard) cider, when you're in Bristol be sure to make it over to The Apple — a pub on a boat that does only apple-based alcohol — about 40+ ciders (8? on tap), plus some apple brandies and the like. The Old Bristolian is _fabulous_.

[laura47.livejournal.com]

Amanda Palmer is local to me, I've been to her house, one of my friends is her current housemate, and she dated one of my friends and there's a song about them on one of her albums, and this is all just too weird to deal with. If it was any random celebrity that I happened to be a fan of, I could deal, but this just makes me twitch. (And then there's more tenuous social connections to Neil Gaiman too.) People calling her a slut or other sexually charged terms, though, them I flat out 100% disapprove of. I heard about them dating before it was public, and was happy for them. I was visiting my parents, and told some of my obsessive Neil Gaiman fangirl friends from high school, and they were unhappy, and I was really weirded out by their reactions. Since then they've bitched about how "she's changed him" and "why is he wasting time working on her projects" and how they don't like what he does now, and I am appalled by the sense of entitlement they have about the personal life and creative choices of a man they've never met outside of a signing line. What the hell is wrong with people re:celebrities? And why does your lj comment box turn into a confessional for me, because I don't even want to mention Amanda Palmer on my lj right now.

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

That comment really saddened me. I'd rather liked AFP overall... her work with the Dresden Dolls, her realness in an industry pretty much totally unreal. But... the last year has obviously worn on her, there have been frayed edges showing on occasion. *sigh* I'm left wondering if the unceasing misogynist/crazy fan attacks have run her down to the point of exceptionally poor judgment -- because this comment was about as fucked-up as it gets. Not that I've followed her closely (that would involve effort), but from the blog entries I've read and other statements she's never come off as a fucking clueless hipster of the most deplorable variety... she's skirted that edge, occasionally had the appearance of self-consciously edgy (instead of just herself, edgy or no), but not been a complete jackass. This misguided attempt at some sort of humor? Complete jackass. Question is where she'll go from here... she needs to look at this incident critically and not just react to the criticism as being More Of The Same misogynistic shit she's been slogging through. And then do what is necessary (not what is funny or edgy or expected)- be real and be honestly apologetic for fucking up this heinously.

[labellerose.livejournal.com]

Re: Amanda Palmer-Yes
Re: That UK book-Oy. It's been my experience that nanny-raised children tend to have issues, but Those Aren't Them. One thing I've observed is that nanny-raised children tend to lack life skills. Example- a friend of my daughter's was spending Thanksgiving with us because her physician parents were working. I asked the young women to prepare the vegetables for the crudite plate. This 17 year old had never handled a vegetable peeler or a paring knife. Another issue I've observed is a lack of what for want of a better term I call 'self-entertaining skills'. I tend to atribute this to the nature of the child/nanny relationship. A disengaged or disinterested caregiver is all too likely to plop the kiddo in front of whatever electronics are available. A conscientious nanny can, with the best of intentions, plan and structure her charge's day so that the child doesn't get that daydreaming, reading, guitar-playing, or fort-building time on his or her own.

[sethg]

One thing I've observed is that nanny-raised children tend to lack life skills. Example- a friend of my daughter's was spending Thanksgiving with us because her physician parents were working.

I have some relatives like this—aunt who literally did not know how to turn on the oven in her home, cousin who literally did not know how to use a cheese grater—but I assumed it was not because of the nanny per se, but because People In Our Social Class Don’t Do That.

[svollga.livejournal.com]

I was wondering not so long ago about the absence of rape tropes in TW fanfiction. Its' really unusual - I went looking for rape stories specifically, and discovered that there are very few of them, even less of them are graphic, and it's almost impossible to find a story built entirely around rape and h/c after that. Oh, and there is a woman-forcing-man story! With a serious (and very traditional) h/c plot!
I find it very refreshing after my previous fandoms (HP, X-men, PotC) which were full of rape and/or coercion stories, but I keep wondering why this particular fandom works this way.

[elisi]

I think it might have something to do with the fact that whenever there's dubious consent (like Owen and his spray or Adam's mindwiping of Tosh) there is no violence involved. It is about pleasure, and not about asserting [physical] power. ETA: Meant to say that this does of course not make it OK in any way, but it changes the inherent dynamics in the narrative.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

While there's not a huge amount of out and out rape in TW fanfic, there is still quite a bit. Google Ianto and rape and see how much comes up. Also check out Dorothy Marley's bookmarks over at Delicious. This ties closely to the whole 'Ianto as the wife' distortion taken by a lot of writers. I don't honestly know how this compares with other fanfics - so it could still be far less.

There's also a fair amount of 'aliens made me do it' sex which much like laura47's comments on Owen's alien spray, has some elements of dub-con at least.

I do agree that the show itself is mostly sex positive - people actually enjoy their relationships with others without guilt and shame - which is pretty refreshing actually.

[supergee.livejournal.com]

I'm blogging the insane Nanny Theory. Thanx.

[sihaya09.livejournal.com]

Word on the sexist language against AP to sop. I pretty much want her to go away and never fucking speak ever ever again, but I had that same though.

[malle-babbe.livejournal.com]

Have to chime in on the "No way the Pope is resigning" front. I don't want to sound like I am making excuses here, because I am not. In fact, my lapsed Catholic self only sets foot in a church if someone's getting baptized, married, or buried. The median age of the higher-ups in the RCC are in their upper 70s or older. They are of my grandparents' generation; an era in which the most insane abuse could happen behind closed doors and it was NOT to be discussed outside of the family, if at all. Three of my 4 great-grandfathers were abusive alcoholics, and the only thing my grandparents were told as kids was "Daddy is just hurting himself"... **rolls eyes** Take growing up in that environment, add in getting shut away in a seminary in your early teens, and being in a overall culture in which sex is not to be discussed (hell, where kids get the impression that it is a sin to utter the words "penis" or "vagina") and it would be shocking if abuse DIDN'T happen. That, and the RCC is still in the mindset that many institutions in general had decades ago; that it authority is based on giving the impression that it *never* makes mistakes; hell, church authorities were told that they risked being excommunicated if they went to the cops! Among other things, the Church's insistence that it's followers be "perfect" rather than "good" was one of the reasons I just can't be bothered with the whole song and dance. Also explains the drinking that we are renowned for... The way I see it, he is staying. More liberal Catholics and folks who are just sick of the bullshit will leave. The more conservative Catholics will stay, and given that they are the ones with 6+ kids, the Church hierarchy has nothing to worry about on the demographic front. When Jesus said "Suffer the Little Children" that ISN'T what he meant... I can't read about the priest molesting students in a Wisconsin Church run school for the Deaf without getting stabby, esp. since I have the sinking feeling that the very same thing is going on in Church-run orphanages across the developing world...

[axeslade.livejournal.com]

My roommate has suggested ripping out the page with the definition of irony from dictionaries we don't mind slightly mutilating, underlining said definition in red and sending them to Amanda. Good lord, I am so glad I stopped following her over the abelism and child abuse fail.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Hey Amanda? It would be nice if I could see your name in the context of "wow she's rad!" rather than "what is this I don't even". Love, a very confused possibly former fan.

Pee-ess: Can you hook me up with Viggie? His post-Dolls career seems to be steeped in awesome rather than fail.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

While I did like "Coin-Operated Boy," Dresden Dolls always made me itch in funny places over the whole "Circus Freaks as Hipster Entertainment" thing. The entire Evelyn Evelyn debacle officially put her on my shit list. As a person with a very visible disability who DOES get treated like a circus freak, I resent like hell the notion that my existence should be reduced to rattling a tin cup for pennies tossed by the cool kids. Just...no. The whole hipster racism thing can just stop like, now.

That being said, the whole "Faily FailWhore" thing can also come to a screeching halt. It comes across as nothing more than 20 y.o.-emo-girl jealousy that Neil Gaiman would rather fuck that Faily FailWhore than them.

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Oddly the thing that's surprised me about White Collar is all the slave and pet fic. I guess it makes sense in that it's a (wild) exaggeration of canon, Neal "belonging" to Peter for four years, but... man, it is so not my kink. *scrubs brain* I remember tons of that genre from BtVS back in the day, but I guess I'd managed to avoid it since.

I'm pretty shocked at the virulent hate directed at Amanda Palmer. She's said some offensive things that people are right to call her on. But a lot of that genuine offense is being twisted into an excuse to hate on her out of all proportion, for the obviously misogynist reason that people don't like her dating Gaiman.

I never particularly got into her music, but I loved that she was doing it. (I first saw her opening for NIN in ... 2005?) She's a fantastically creative performer. And I've been reading her blog for years despite not being that into her music, because she is very often an incredibly insightful and moving writer. Obviously she's complicated and imperfect. But I don't understand the unrestrained hate she's getting, especially from feminists who, if they were to look closely at her body of work, I think would be surprised at how much there is to admire about what she's achieved in such a sexist industry, and how much she's refused to conform to the sexist expectations usually "required" of female performers.

It just seems like people are jumping onto the "hate Amanda Palmer" bandwagon without realizing the extent to which the flames are being fanned by jealous/misogynist types who are seizing on Palmer's mistakes as excuses to hate her out of all proportion to what she's actually done. That doesn't mean she shouldn't be criticized, but I do wish for more balance in the criticism.

[bluejeans07.livejournal.com]

Completely agree with your post.

[bluejeans07.livejournal.com]

...wow. I was following Amanda Palmer on twitter right when the whole crazy Gaga thing was going on and decided to stop following her momentarily so that she wouldn't be spamming my twitter list. Apparently I did it just in time and completely missed what she said. Now I'm not so sure if I'd follow her again, I mean, I like her music and I like what she says about art sometimes, but she tends to be one of those people who doesn't apologize for her actions even when they go this far.

[sixteenbynine.livejournal.com]

Re: "hipster racism". If you haven't seen it already, go grab Lester Bangs's "Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung" and check out the chapter "The White Noise Supremacists", wherein he said many of the same things thirty years earlier. He was just as uncomfortable about the way people in the punk underground were using casually offensive things as a kind of bonding, us-against-them ritual, with "them" being anyone who wasn't in the room -- so it wasn't deliberately racist, but it had the same net effect. No, most people really do not understand the unthinking effects of their language on others -- or, when they do, they often want to assume everyone else is in on the joke, when some people may not even be aware there IS a joke.

And re: the abuse of the word "irony" -- I'm tempted to blame a certain Canadian singer, but I suspect she was simply making public the damage already done to the world by so many years of unthinking bad usage.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Word on the Amanda Palmer misogyny call-out. I was contemplating making a similar comment, but you said it better.

[i-amthecosmos.livejournal.com]

You know, this whole debate about Torchwood's pro-sex worldview vs. the rapefic of other fandoms makes me want to check it out. I'm mostly an RPS fan person, so I'll probably just end up reading in it.

Well, I'm in Adam Lambert fandom (we're trying to come up with a catchier name for it). People torture the shit out of him for some reason-because of his still evident self-esteem issues? I have no idea. Maybe it's just because the fandom skews so young.

I have a huge non-consent squick so Torchwood might be a good reading fandom for me. I might need to calm down after the eight millionth slavefic au.

[coneyislandbaby]

I think you might enjoy Torchwood and I know you'd enjoy John Barrowman ;) - John is who I want Adam to grow up to be. Kind of. And I really think the one thing that people fixate on (and... it is fixate, hmmm, that Says Something to me) has so many interpretations it's not clear cut.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

Amanda Palmer's fails have put me off as a fan, and I want to distance myself from that label now. I appreciated her music, but she is no longer someone I follow on twitter, etc., or seek to support.

But I will still defend her from misogynist slurs.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

My favorite new insult is "dipthong" because vowels aren't sentient.

[tlatzomia.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love you.