big life; small space

My first thought at the title was LOL Heteronormativity!

But my thoughts after seeing some of the slides (I'm on a sloooow 41K dial up) basically amount to there are lies, damn lies, and then there are "studies".

This article is a misogynistic piece of shit. This is my favorite so far:

You aren't going to like it if she makes more than you do: "Married men's well-being is significantly lower when married women's proportional contributions to the total family income are increased."

That's right, Forbes. Won't someone PLEASE think of the poor little men?!? *emotear*

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Well I think that's true, if the male in question is a spinless self serving little piece of shit. 'Oh no my financial dominance is over, my life is over, I must now go buy a hummer and go to the strip club to reclaim my manhood'.

Although I think this is a byproduct of the brainwashing of men by this society anyway. They are force fed that they have to live this way from birth - and if they don't break out of it they are doomed to live it out. For example check out the newer TV ads for hummers lately. " Reclaim your manhood " indeed.

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I haven't seen the hummer ad, but I do remember the "I am man!" ad Burger King did awhile ago. Basically, if you don't like big hamburgers and prefer watching your health and eating "chick food" you're not rugged and therefore not manly.

Granted, I'm female and I identify as female, but I'd like to think I understand men pretty well, all things considered. This is one of the things I don't get. How does driving a hummer or eating a hamburger make you more or less of a man?

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All that shit makes me crazy.

I will add as a female who identifies that way as often as not, I sorta do get the food thing, from both angles. Because of my celiac stuff I've become a really fussy, careful eater, and the degree to which I get sneered at for that as being a feminine, weak and presumably a "girl counting calories" makes me want to shriek, regardless of what I'm identifying as.

There's also some diet food company that's running ads on cable stating their meal choices are for manly dieters.

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OMG they actually say that to your face?! Unbelievable.

I hate how people just assume these things. It never ever occurs to them that someone might be doing something "atypical" for a medical reason.

Anyway, I think that people who watch what they eat are the strong, smart ones, regardless of their sex or gender identity :D

Oh that manly bullshit is everywhere now. Makes me angry on behalf of the women who are carnivorous and drive trucks.

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Yeah. There's that too. I love meat. And it's just as annoying to be lunching with a man who says "thank god you're not like those girls who only eat salad."

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See, I've never understood why people comment at all. I mean, I was a very hardcore vegetarian for several years (I eat fish now and am healthier), but I never sniped at anyone who chose to eat differently, no matter their sex/gender. I would have asked your lunch guest why that bothered him so much.

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Oh, I did. That stuff just stuns me. I'm somewhat less vicious about it these days (or rather, I've just mastered the art of the icy, unamused stare). I do remember going on a date once in my mid twenties, and getting a sort of snotty remark from the fellow when I ordered steak fritts about how it was "amusing" (total condescending tone) that I hadn't ordered something more "lady-like"

"Oooops, I forgot, I'm supposed to be saving room for cock!"

Which you know, is one of those sentences no man wants to hear while you're weilding a steak knife.

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*DIES. DIES. DIES!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Ok, RM we? Are so going to be your roomates if we go to Phoenix Rising (and I'm really sure we are since it's much closer than Canada). Sorry about the delay in responding btw, it's been a shit month for me and I forgot to parle with Kim about making our decisions. I'll talk to her tonight, and I'm submitting my proposals for papers before September 1 for early decision.

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Awesome. I know you've been totally crazed, but I was actually going to poke at you sometime this week, so that's totally cool.

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Oh it's good. I told Perosha that she can poke me in the eye (metaphoricaly!) whenever she needs, and you should feel free to do the same.

So I'm thinking of doing a paper about Slytherin and Machiavelli for Phoenix Rising, but now that I'm skimming through the Prince again, I'm not sure if I was on the right track. What do you think?

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I think it needs to be addressed, but I'm not sure how close the links are. I mean what you might wind up with is that Slytherins are what we consider machiavellian but aren't actually Machiavellian -- which is pretty interesting in and of itself. It's also hard to figure out because of all the incompetant Slytherins running around.

I saw a fandom rant a few days ago about house Slytherin House is confusing because it has conservative values but does not behave in conservative ways. I thought that was a misunderstanding of it, or at least one of those sloppy mappings between our world and theirs, but I thought the rant raised potential stuff of interest.

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"Oooops, I forgot, I'm supposed to be saving room for cock!"

OK you owe me a new keyboard. I just laughed my morning OJ all over mine. :)

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heron61.livejournal.com

People actually say that sort of nonsense???!!! I've only seen that in sitcoms. Dear gods, I'm once again thankful for the fact that I almost completely isolate myself from mainstream society.

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fleur.livejournal.com

Do you just stare at them and say "allergy, asshole"?

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Yeah. It happens on movie sets the most (where I have to bring my own food, while everyone eats at craft services).

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It doesn't. However it does help fit into the stereotype of what a ' man ' is. YOu have to disect the whole phrase " More of a man " or " Less of a man " becasue once you do that you can clearly see that it's just a subjective construct that has no clear meaning - in one place being a man means crushing a beer can on your head, while in another it means driving a car and making lots of money, and in most every case it means having a dominant position over everything in view. It's a social construcxt designed to make them jump through hoops to achieve something that is flexible to the point of being a never ending series of hoops. If you eat red raw beef you are a man ... ok now if you want to be MORE of a man you can drive this car .. Great! Now to be a REAL man you need to buy a boat, because a real man has a boat .... and so on. It never really ends, and your money and knowledge of true self goes out the window.

The hummer ad : Guy in line at the grocery store checkout. He is purchasing a brick of tofu, sprouts, and soy milk. Guy behind him in line has a rack of ribs, and a case of beer. The first guy becomes enraged ( literally snatches his purchases away ) and drives straight to the hummer dealer, where he trades in his car for a hummer. The end caption " Reclaim your manhood ".

quite a bit to be read into this.

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Oh ok I remember the ad now. Ick ick ICK. I guess that's what I meant with my first post. I've never understood the whole dominance/lack of restraint/behaving stupidly = MANLY!! equation. Women have a hard time of things and our own harmful images to live up to, but I literally can't imagine what guys must go through trying to deal with messages that basically equate your worth as a person to how uncouth, greedy, domineering and unhealthy you can be. I'm glad you don't buy into it :)

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That's the thing - I DID buy into it. As a male oyu ahve no choice but to buy into it - it is fed to you in every way possible from well meaning but misguided family, mass media, sociological norms and history.

I grew out of it. I grew out of it based on being educated, the journey of self knowledge, and having good friends like RM who showed me the error of the way I was going.

It is possible to grow out of it, but it takes brains, fortitude, and a willingness to make that change in order to succeed.

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heron61.livejournal.com

One of the great lessons of post 1950 advertising, it's possible to convince far too many men that their masculinity rides on purchasing your product. Since femininity is assumed to be innate in our culture, women get a slightly different message - to be loved or valued, they must purchase X product. It's difficult to say which is more destructive, my guess is both.

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