Why NOT to Marry a Career Woman

[rm]

Meanwhile, there is this appalling/interesting slideshow on Forbes.com -- "Why NOT to Marry a Career Woman."

http://www.forbes.com/2006/07/25/cx_mn_singles06_destined_misery_slide.html

I'll reserve my commentary for a bit. I want to see you all duke it out.


Completely unrelated, but just as much up my nose: Ugh, I hate when gender norms amongst reenactors bite me. I'm just trying to avoid having to make my own breeches, but a woman? in breeches? horror! I may have to make my own. Am annoyed.

Comments

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

um, what the fuck?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's about where I still am too.

[abnormal-apathy.livejournal.com]

What a misogynst piece of shit.

Why don't we all don aprons and have dry martinis ready when our men come home too?

[fuyukodachi.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't this piece of shit be in Maxim and not Forbes?

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

1975 called. It wants its mindset back. ::eyeroll::

I can't even call that a 1950s mindset. That's like the "women in the workforce" backlash manifesto.

Hey! It's 1977 and all the women are climbing the corporate ladder! SHIT! Who's going to clean my underwear now?!?

[heron61.livejournal.com]

No kidding. That was equal parts vile and bizarrely anarchonistic. Of course, bizarre and creepy social anarchonisms seem to be the hallmark of the post 9/11 US.

[affreca.livejournal.com]

A 2001 study found that having a wife who works less than 40 hours a week has no impact on your health, but having a wife who works more than 40 hours a week has "substantial, statistically significant, negative effects on changes in her husband's health over that time span." The author of another study summarizes that "wives working longer hours not do not have adequate time to monitor their husband's health and healthy behavior, to manage their husband's emotional well-being or buffer his workplace stress."

Because men can't tell when they are getting sick, and women can? What the..? It must be that innate nuturing thing that I missed out on.

[graene.livejournal.com]

Oh, there's a lot to say to that, but I'll start here:

"wives working longer hours not do not have adequate time to monitor their husband's health and healthy behavior, to manage their husband's emotional well-being or buffer his workplace stress."

Why is that part of the wife's job description and not part of the generic spouse description? And don't pretend it is - this is the same reason married men live longer and married women don't.

[vondow.livejournal.com]

He just draws the wrong conclusion on the cause. We are just more likely to go to the doctor and get diagnosed as sick because women are tired of listening to our whining.

That and you have two people working in a recycled air cesspool. I never kissed any of my roommates that came home sick from the office until I got married.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

Have you seen the piece on breastfeeding by Michael Jackson's rabbi?
I have company coming over, but I will try to dig it up afterward. It's quite a thing.

[rm.livejournal.com]

What?!?!?!

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

I'll meet her WHAT?!? and raise you a "the fuck?!?"

[fleur.livejournal.com]

I can't decide which one is funnier, "your house will be dirtier" or "you are more likely to get sick".

[drfardook.livejournal.com]

Why not just title it, "She no longer has to put up with your shit."

Or perhaps, "time to think about your lifestyle choices because wifey might not be happy with the default position" or, "if you need a higher checking balance to get an erection, you need to seek therapy" or even, "what's wrong with being a houseboy anyway?"

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

My first thought at the title was LOL Heteronormativity!

But my thoughts after seeing some of the slides (I'm on a sloooow 41K dial up) basically amount to there are lies, damn lies, and then there are "studies".

This article is a misogynistic piece of shit. This is my favorite so far:

You aren't going to like it if she makes more than you do: "Married men's well-being is significantly lower when married women's proportional contributions to the total family income are increased."

That's right, Forbes. Won't someone PLEASE think of the poor little men?!? *emotear*

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Well I think that's true, if the male in question is a spinless self serving little piece of shit. 'Oh no my financial dominance is over, my life is over, I must now go buy a hummer and go to the strip club to reclaim my manhood'.

Although I think this is a byproduct of the brainwashing of men by this society anyway. They are force fed that they have to live this way from birth - and if they don't break out of it they are doomed to live it out. For example check out the newer TV ads for hummers lately. " Reclaim your manhood " indeed.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Forbes? This sounds more like one of those bottom feeding " Mens Magazine " deals like Bizarre or Maxim or some such. Maybe even Cosmo.

From my personal point of view, I think that they have a good handle on what is happening, but not WHY it's happening. To blame the success of women in general for these events happening is just silly - it implies that going bacwards will fix everything. Dry martini at the door indeed.

However, as a side note, I was reading up recently on a trend in the T community whereby many and some T people are starting to adopt the whole apron and dry martini lifestyle. They are calling it " Wifehood ". Complete June cleaver syndrome. It's interesting to see people willingly living out the retro lifestyle to the letter ( I mean house proud starched slipcovers and the roast in the oven ).

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Forbes? This sounds more like one of those bottom feeding " Mens Magazine " deals like Bizarre or Maxim or some such. Maybe even Cosmo.

The degree to which mass media in the US is pandering to (or openly supporting) the fundys and their whole "traditional moral values" nonsense is quite terrifying. Looking at modern British & Candadian mass media makes this especially obvious.

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

Also, why is it the wife's duty to monitor her husband's health?! I thought this was something couples did for each other, and adults primarily should do for themselves.

You know, I'm not a misandrist but I seriously wonder sometimes if the men who write and agree with this stuff are in some state of prolongued toddlerhood.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Or even more so , they spend their time being macho headstrong asses and never recieve ( and rightly so ) any form of caring or concern from their spouses - unless they are sick. Given that it's just stimulus/response from there on in.

[graene.livejournal.com]

I don't know why it is, but it is. Maybe that women tend to be more aware of health, period. Women pushed and pushed so that now they get one annual regular doc PE and one annual gyn PE covered by insurance as well-care. Most men still don't go to the doc unless there's something wrong after their last school mandated physical. My husband, much as I love him, only considers my health when I make it clear I am feeling unwell - and then he is the most solicitous person on earth for my wellbeing - until I am well again.

[storyjen.livejournal.com]

Interesting how I read some of the first parts of it from the economic angle:

If a woman has a successful career, she has more money and more choices about what she can do with her life. Therefore:

1) She can support herself, and won't feel survival pressure to marry any old slob of a man so he can support her;

2) If her marriage is bullshit, she can leave, instead of feeling survival pressure to stay in an unhappy situation because she fears she can't support herself (or her kids);

3) If her marriage is bullshit, she may well cheat, instead of sucking it up and taking it;

4) She may feel she has more purposes to her life instead of automatically being relegated to being a baby machine (and the choice to leave or resist effectively if she gets any unwanted baby pressure from spouse/relatives/etc.);

5) She might actually expect that her husband might take an equitable share of the chores (especially since she works just as many hours as he does);

and on and on.

I know I'm phrasing all of this according to the grossest stereotypes of Strong Working Woman and Helpless Non-Working Woman, and I apologize; I know people are more complicated than that. I'm trying to point out that having a career may be part of a woman's having structured her sense of her own agency in her life differently, but doing it in a kind of sloppy way. I'm mostly just pissed. There are lots of ways of interpreting the few actual data that were presented in that report; the writers just slapped on an apallingly misogynistic interpretation. I don't know who they think their readers are looking for as spouses, but clearly it's not "a partner" in any sense that I'm used to hearing the word. Somewhere between "a body servant" and "a Mommy," maybe, but not a partner.

Ew. Ew ew ew.

[graene.livejournal.com]

It would be nice to see this from the women's perspective - "reasons to be a career woman" and tips on finding the housefather man.

[00goddess.livejournal.com]

I'm only on number three and already I can see that the theme is "Get a woman that you can control."

[realtsunamigirl.livejournal.com]

I responded to the "article" over in my journal if you want to check it out.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I saw. Man. *stunned*